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it should be mandatory for all young people to volunteer to help protect the environment

it should be mandatory for all young people to volunteer to help protect the environment nE2r7
The problems of environment are becoming serious warning on over the world. In my view, all young people should have responsibility to protect the earth. Frist of all, this work will bring many benefits for the young people in the future. Case in point, the teenager will have experience team work and improve their soft skills. Besides, this work will create for young people the better environment to grow up. Secondly, they will be the leader in protecting environment. As a result, more people have consciousness to save the earth On the other hand, It is unfair for all young people who must protect the environment and no one else. In addition, this work can make mindset that young people who destroyed the earth All in all, i strongly believe that young people must have consciousness and responsibility to save the green planet. They are next generation so that they must improve their enviroment
The problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
are becoming serious warning on over the world. In my view, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have responsibility to protect the earth.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Frist
of all, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the future. Case in point, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
will have experience team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Besides
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will create for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to grow up.
Secondly
, they will be the leader in protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
As a result
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have consciousness to save the earth
On the other hand
, It is unfair for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and no one else.
In addition
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mindset that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the earth All in all,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have consciousness and responsibility to save the green planet. They are
next
generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
enviroment
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IELTS essay it should be mandatory for all young people to volunteer to help protect the environment

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
153 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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