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Angry boss which annoys his employees

Angry boss which annoys his employees YdNPQ
There was a company called legend near a wharf where many people worked But unfortunately the manager of that company only snubbed his employees And exposing their foolish actions, which were not intentional And did not maintaine the financial needs of the company's employees on time And he never amended his bad behaviors Until the employees of that company could not endure such insults And they warthed with him like an angry bear Finally, after much pondering, they decided and They did a derastic deal to bring about justice And one by one, they voted and filled out their ballot paper, and since everyone was against their boss, they resigned from that baseless company.
There was a
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company
called legend near a wharf where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
worked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
unfortunately the manager of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
snubbed his employees And exposing their foolish actions, which were not intentional And did not
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintaine
the financial needs of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's employees on time And he never amended his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behaviors Until the employees of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
could not endure such insults And they
Possible spelling mistake found.
warthed
with him like an angry bear
Finally
, after much pondering, they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
decided and
They did a
Possible spelling mistake found.
derastic
deal to bring about justice

And one by one, they voted and filled out their ballot paper, and since everyone was against their boss, they resigned from that baseless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
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IELTS essay Angry boss which annoys his employees

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
114 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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