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It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed? xl36
Obesity has become a common problem in western societies and this is partly due to the availability of fast food at low prices. To tackle this problem, it has been suggested that governments should increase the tax on fast foods in order to reduce the amount of pre-cooked meals consumed. I personally believe that this is a sound idea, because especially young people, who have less money, will be discouraged from buying food at quick service restaurants. The main reason for the high consumption of junk food is that it is a cheap alternative to healthy meals. A salad for example often is twice as expensive as a burger, resulting in more people eating the burger than the salad. As a result, people prepare fewer meals themselves and eat more mass-produced food instead. In my opinion, it should not be possible to sell fast food at a lower price than staple food. By making takeaway meals more expensive than vegetables and fruit, people would change their eating habits, as they would want to save money. Another way to reduce consumption of fast food would be to prohibit its promotion. A similar approach was taken in terms of advertising cigarettes and one can say that this approach has been successful to some extent. Additionally, commercials for fast food often target young children through offering inducements, such as the toys in the happy meal at McDonalds for example. The children are persuaded to demand a happy meal, yet often do not necessarily want to eat the food contained in it. The only thing they want is the toy. If advertising junk food were forbidden, the number of children consuming pre-cooked meals would be reduced and therefore the number of obese children would decrease as well. In conclusion, governments should put a tax on fast food to reduce the amount consumed in order to decrease the number of obese people. By placing a tax on fast food and making it more expensive than healthy raw foods, people would began to eat more healthily. If additionally the advertising of quick service restaurants were banned, the number of obese people would decrease even more drastically.
Obesity has become a common problem in western societies and this is partly due to the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at low prices. To tackle this problem, it has
been suggested
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should increase the tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
consumed. I
personally
believe that this is a sound
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
especially
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who have less money, will
be discouraged
from buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at quick service restaurants.

The main reason for the high consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
alternative to healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
. A salad
for example
The adverb 'often' usually goes after the verb 'is'.
often is
twice as expensive as a burger, resulting in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eating the burger than the salad.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prepare fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
themselves and eat more mass-produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
instead
. In my opinion, it should not be possible to sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at a lower price than staple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. By making takeaway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
more expensive than vegetables and fruit,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their eating habits, as they would want to save money.

Another way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would be to prohibit its promotion. A similar approach
was taken
in terms of advertising cigarettes and one can say that this approach has been successful to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Additionally
, commercials for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
target young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
through offering inducements, such as the toys in the happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
at
Did you mean the fast food chain "McDonald's" (always spelled with a possessive apostrophe)?
McDonalds
for example
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are persuaded
to demand a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
,
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do not
necessarily
want to eat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contained in it. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing they want is the toy. If advertising junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
were forbidden
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
consuming
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and
therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would decrease
as well
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should put a tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount consumed in order to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By placing a tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and making it more expensive than healthy raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "begin"
began
to eat more
healthily
. If
additionally
the advertising of quick service restaurants
were banned
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would decrease even more
drastically
.
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IELTS essay It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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