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it is unnecesarry to protect animals because alarge amount of money is spent to conservation of endangered species

it is unnecesarry to protect animals because alarge amount of money is spent to conservation of endangered species V081w
It is universally accepted that a host of animals are pushed to the verge of extinction due to the humand’s relentless pursuit of economic development, and therefore, animal conservation is always a topic of public interest. However, it is believed that preserving wildlife is no longer necessary, given colossal money, and time involved, and that these resources should be diverted to projects that immediately benefit humans. I personally disagree with this school of thought for some following reasons. Granted, one might argue that the budget that is being allocated to preservation of animals is verging on excess. This is predicated on the assumption that there are more other pressing issues that need addressing than protecting wildlife animals. A good example for this is countries where unemployment, poverty, and starvation are rife are in dire need of funding to alleviate such problems. Nevertheless, this line of reasoning is not sound, because although hundreds of millions of dollars have been allotted to combating the extinction of some animals, recent centuries have witnessed the demise of innumerable wildlife species. As a result, this is a testament that our efforts in animal conservation do seem woefully inadequate. Furthermore, it is absurd to discount/ downplay the importance of protecting endangered species. This is because there is an inextricable relationship between human race and wildlife. In other words, if a single wild species is missing from the ecosystem, it may disrupt the whole food chain, which is more likely to lead to loss of biodiversity and ecological balance, and ultimately disastrous results for human life. A typical example of this is Pollinating insects which play an integral role in the growth of crops given that the increasing decline in the number of these creatures had understandably / undoubtedly caused widespread damage to agricultural productivity in particular and living standards of human beings. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that there is a dire need for the onservation of threatened animals because it has a direct effect on the existence of human beings.
It is
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that a host of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
pushed to the verge of extinction due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
humand
’s relentless pursuit of economic development, and
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
conservation is always a topic of public interest.
However
, it
is believed
that preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
is no longer necessary,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
colossal money, and time involved, and that these resources should
be diverted
to projects that immediately benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. I
personally
disagree with this school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
following reasons.

Granted, one might argue that the budget
that is
being allocated
to preservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is verging on excess. This
is predicated
on the assumption that there are more other pressing issues that need addressing than protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for this is countries where unemployment, poverty, and starvation are rife are in dire need of funding to alleviate such problems.
Nevertheless
, this line of reasoning is not sound,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
although hundreds of millions of dollars have
been allotted
to combating the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, recent centuries have witnessed the demise of innumerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
species.
As a result
, this is a testament that our efforts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
conservation do seem
woefully
inadequate.

Furthermore
, it is absurd to discount/ downplay the importance of protecting endangered species. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is an inextricable relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
.
In other words
, if a single wild species is missing from the ecosystem, it may disrupt the whole food chain, which is more likely to lead to loss of biodiversity and ecological balance, and
ultimately
disastrous results for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life. A typical example of this is Pollinating insects which play an integral role in the growth of crops
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that the increasing decline in the number of these creatures had
understandably
/
undoubtedly
caused widespread damage to agricultural productivity
in particular
and living standards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that there is a dire need for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
onservation
of threatened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has a direct effect on the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
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IELTS essay it is unnecesarry to protect animals because alarge amount of money is spent to conservation of endangered species

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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