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It is undeniable that almost all national nations secure some part of the budget for the art. A group of individuals opine, spend money on the art is essential, whereas some perceive, revenue is better spent on rectifying health and education. Therefore, ahead of my perception, both sides must be understood.

It is undeniable that almost all national nations secure some part of the budget for the art. A group of individuals opine, spend money on the art is essential, whereas some perceive, revenue is better spent on rectifying health and education. Therefore, ahead of my perception, both sides must be understood. 6MRK
It is undeniable that almost all national nations secure some part of the budget for the art. A group of individuals opine, spend money on the art is essential, whereas some perceive, revenue is better spent on rectifying health and education. Therefore, ahead of my perception, both sides must be understood. Examining the first opinion believed by masses that nation should spend on the art. Most beneficial reason is make reputation worldwide; artists show their abilities by doing various jobs including paintings, singing, art and craft, hardworking and so on. Consequently, nations get good reputation by encouraging them to keep it up and organize competitions in various countries. So, they can generate revenue effortlessly. Because foreigners attract towards art show and they utilize hospitality of other’s nations. Consequently, government acquire a high number of foreign revenue. Moreover, authority should persuade them by providing rewards. As a result, they get motivation and do their best by putting their all endeavors. On the other hand, individuals opine that authority should rectify health care and education system. Governments should enhance health care by providing more amenities as well as giving subsidies for senior citizens and needy persons also. Furthermore, they need to take some praiseworthy steps to overcome illiteracy among the country and provide more and high-quality education. They should provide free education up to grade 10 or provide scholarships to intelligent students to make their future bright. To recapitulate and in my perception, nations also make reputations by funding art as well as enhance their health and education system, so I believe, government have equal ratio to manage both aspects.
It is undeniable that almost all national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
secure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of the budget for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. A group of individuals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "opines"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'opine' is not always incorrect.)
opine
, spend money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is essential, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
perceive, revenue is better spent on rectifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Therefore
, ahead of my perception, both sides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be understood
.

Examining the
first
opinion believed by masses that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should spend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. Most beneficial reason is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
reputation worldwide; artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their abilities by doing various jobs including paintings, singing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and craft, hardworking and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation by encouraging them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it up and organize competitions in various countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can generate revenue
effortlessly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
foreigners attract towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
show and
they utilize hospitality of other’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
acquire a high number of foreign revenue.
Moreover
, authority should persuade them by providing rewards.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivation and do their best by putting their all endeavors.

On the other hand
, individuals opine that authority should rectify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care by providing more amenities
as well
as giving subsidies for senior citizens and needy persons
also
.
Furthermore
, they need to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
praiseworthy steps to overcome illiteracy among the country and provide more and high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. They should provide free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
up to grade 10 or provide scholarships to intelligent students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future bright.

To recapitulate and in my perception,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
reputations by funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as well
as enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I believe,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have equal ratio to manage both aspects.
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IELTS essay It is undeniable that almost all national nations secure some part of the budget for the art. A group of individuals opine, spend money on the art is essential, whereas some perceive, revenue is better spent on rectifying health and education. Therefore, ahead of my perception, both sides must be understood.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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