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It is undeniable that a growing number of the elderly are faced with increasing competition from the youth in the workplace.

It is undeniable that a growing number of the elderly are faced with increasing competition from the youth in the workplace. OMrjM
It is undeniable that a growing number of the elderly are faced with increasing competition from the youth in the workplace. This situation is causing challenges for both — the older and the younger workforce. This essay will explore the negative effects caused by this hot competition between the young and the old job seekers, and then present some suggestions to alleviate these potential problems. The competition among the young and the old workers can cause troubling effects on the senior workers. They might find it daunting to keep up with the latest advancements in technology. For example, in the manufacturing industry, the use of advanced machines is quite common. But, how to operate the equipment could be a tough challenge for older workers, whereas it may be simple and easy for their younger counterparts. Therefore, the elderly employees might suffer both physically and psychologically, even if they secure reasonable jobs. Finally, if senior employees constitute the largest proportion of the company's staff, then, it could lead to a decline of productivity and efficiency of the enterprise. On the other hand, the young graduates may also feel unmotivated and frustrated. Senior job candidates have rich experience, and therefore they tend to outshine young adults. Young employees are relatively restricted in terms of work experience and communication skills, because of which some employers prefer to recruit older people with higher working efficiency rather than those who have just graduated from the university. Without a decent job and salary, it is extremely difficult for young people to make a living, as a consequence of which, some of them might resort to crime to fulfil their desires. These problems can certainly be solved. Considering the severity of this problem, it is imperative for the government to encourage self-employment for fresh graduates, so that the young people get employment, and the older workers are not laid off. Governments should encourage businesses to create more jobs for less experienced young employees who will then have the opportunity to accumulate experience. Further, the governments should allocate more money to pension system, which can basically guarantee the basic needs of most elders, so that they do not have to look for jobs. At the individual level, the elderly should plan ahead for their retirement and enjoy their retired life, instead of competing for the limited job vacancies. This would be a win-win option both for the aged and the young. To sum up, competition between both age groups for the Jobs will continue to be more intense, but some steps at government and individual level can help to lessen the severity of the situation.
It is undeniable that a growing number of the elderly
are faced
with increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
from the youth in the workplace. This situation is causing challenges for both — the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
and the younger workforce. This essay will explore the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects caused by this hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers, and then present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions to alleviate these potential problems.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
can cause troubling effects on the senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. They might find it daunting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the latest advancements in technology.
For example
, in the manufacturing industry, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of advanced machines is quite common.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, how to operate the equipment could be a tough challenge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
, whereas it may be simple and easy for their younger counterparts.
Therefore
, the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
might suffer both
physically
and
psychologically
, even if they secure reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Finally
, if senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
constitute the largest proportion of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's staff, then, it could lead to a decline of productivity and efficiency of the enterprise.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
graduates may
also
feel unmotivated and frustrated. Senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
candidates have rich experience, and
therefore
they tend to outshine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are
relatively
restricted in terms of work experience and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employers prefer to recruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with higher working efficiency
rather
than those who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
graduated from the university. Without a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and salary, it is
extremely
difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living, as a consequence of which,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them might resort to crime to fulfil their desires.

These problems can
certainly
be solved
. Considering the severity of this problem, it is imperative for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to encourage self-employment for fresh graduates,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are not laid off.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should encourage businesses to create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for less experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who will then have the opportunity to accumulate experience.
Further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should allocate more money to pension system, which can
basically
guarantee the basic needs of most elders,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. At the individual level, the elderly should plan ahead for their retirement and enjoy their retired life,
instead
of competing for the limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
vacancies. This would be a win-win option both for the aged and the young.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
between both age groups for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
will continue to be more intense,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and individual level can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to lessen the severity of the situation.
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IELTS essay It is undeniable that a growing number of the elderly are faced with increasing competition from the youth in the workplace.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
437 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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