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It is true that well-known people's support for foreign charity groups pay attention to updates the problem to more people, but others argue that famous people’s contributions only reduce the problem’s importance. In my perspective, I completely agree with the first view.

It is true that well-known people's support for foreign charity groups pay attention to updates the problem to more people, but others argue that famous people’s contributions only reduce the problem’s importance. In my perspective, I completely agree with the first view. E7l8M
There are several reasons why the support of famous people for international aid organizations enhances public awareness about the problem. Firstly, those famous people can influence or draw attention to the issue because they can share information about it on platforms such as Facebook or Youtube followed by millions of fans. For example, some stars like singer Thuy Tien traveled to the center of vietnam to live stream on Facebook to donate and help people who are affected by storm and flood, therefore more people can watch and understand about the problem. Moreover, if celebrities called for action, their fans are more likely to give donations because they want to have something in common with their favorite star and show their support. On the other hand, other people believe that celebrities can make the problems less essential. The first reason is that most fans do not care about their stars when those stars inform them about societal problems, because they just want to watch and are keen on celebrities' talent. Moreover, if celebrities face some scandal about their life, this can influence organizations or make groups decline reputation. In conclusion, there are some reasons why celebrities make the problems less important. However, I agree that the support of famous people for charity groups draws attention to the problem
There are several reasons why the support of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for international aid organizations enhances public awareness about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Firstly
, those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can influence or draw attention to the issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can share information about it on platforms such as Facebook or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
followed by millions of fans.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
like singer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thuy
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tien
traveled to the center of
Possible spelling mistake found.
vietnam
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
stream on Facebook to donate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by storm and flood,
therefore
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and understand about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
called for action, their fans are more likely to give donations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to have something in common with their favorite star and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their support.

On the other hand
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
less essential. The
first
reason is that most fans do not care about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
when those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
inform them about societal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and are keen on celebrities' talent.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scandal about their life, this can influence organizations or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
groups decline reputation.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the support of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for charity groups draws attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
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IELTS essay It is true that well-known people's support for foreign charity groups pay attention to updates the problem to more people, but others argue that famous people’s contributions only reduce the problem’s importance. In my perspective, I completely agree with the first view.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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