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It is true that there is a growing number of teenagers are spending their time playing video games, rolling social platforms such as Facebook,

It is true that there is a growing number of teenagers are spending their time playing video games, rolling social platforms such as Facebook, B76xj
It is true that there is a growing number of teenagers are spending their time playing video games, rolling social platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok, etc. . that will not assist them to develop their careers instead of training a skill, trade or enhancing their talents. As far as I am concerned, this phenomenon can result in serious problems, which can be tackled using appropriate measures. It is possible said that this issue is attributed to various factors. One of the prominent reasons concerning this problem is the laziness of youngster's life, their fixed mindset. For instance, nowadays, plenty of youngsters like a simple life. It means they do not want to face challenges, try their best. They put their happiness, funny at present above their learning, their future. Thus, playing video games, surfing social media play a crucial role in their routine, and they use more than 6 hours per day - according to the "The Newyork Times" studies. Another element leading to this situation is their bad relationship. It means young people more often be influenced by their friends, should they have a bad friend who always consuming his/her time playing video games. To give you an idea, when I was a student in high school, I was a game experience because I was influenced by my friends, who always invited me to play with them, and I think bad about learning or enriching my knowledge. In truth, some vital measures ought to be taken to remedy these prospective. Encouraging is highly recommended, which prevents teenagers from spending their time doing something meaningless. To illustrate, Parents should encourage their children to hand out, to take part in social activities to improve their skills. In addition, schools should have many programs, talk shows for youngsters about the negative impacts of spending too much time playing video games to raise awareness to students and advise them to take the right actions. In conclusion, there are main contributors to spending too much time on social media, playing games problem of youngsters, and several measures are suggested to put an end to the situation.
It is true that there is a growing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, rolling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platforms such as Facebook, Instagram,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiktok
, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
will not assist them to develop their careers
instead
of training a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, trade or enhancing their talents. As far as I
am concerned
, this phenomenon can result in serious problems, which can
be tackled
using appropriate measures.

It is possible said that this issue
is attributed
to various factors. One of the prominent reasons concerning this problem is the laziness of youngster's life, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
mindset.
For instance
, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of youngsters like a simple life. It means they do not want to face challenges, try their best. They put their happiness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
at present above their learning, their future.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, surfing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media play a crucial role in their routine, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more than 6 hours per day
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
according to
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "the" or ""The" is left.
the "The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newyork
Times
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
studies. Another element leading to this situation is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
relationship. It means young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
be influenced
by their friends, should they have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
friend who always consuming his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. To give you an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, when I was a student in high school, I was a game experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
was influenced
by my friends, who always invited me to play with them, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
about learning or enriching my knowledge.

In truth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vital measures ought to
be taken
to remedy these prospective. Encouraging is
highly
recommended, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing something meaningless. To illustrate, Parents should encourage their children to hand out, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
In addition
, schools should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
programs, talk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
for youngsters about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
to raise awareness to students and advise them to take the right actions.

In conclusion
, there are main contributors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "games'" or "game's"?
games
problem of youngsters, and several measures
are suggested
to put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to the situation.
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IELTS essay It is true that there is a growing number of teenagers are spending their time playing video games, rolling social platforms such as Facebook,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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