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It is true that, online purchasing has becoming increasingly popular among people.

It is true that, online purchasing has becoming increasingly popular among people. As a result, many people prefer to opt for buy online instead of going to markets. This essay below will suggest that the major problems caused by this phenomenon and then present certain, plausible solutions to alleviate the same troubles. To begin with, there are several problems associated with the usage of internet for shopping. The first and foremost, shopping tend to leads a sedentary lifestyle. In other words, people used to utilize delivery services instead of going to the stores in order to buy fresh products which leads them a healthy lifestyle. As a consequence, they may suffered from both physical and mental health problems such as diabetes and obesity. Another problem is that, buying merchandises through online has detrimental influense on small shop owners. Because, when people prefer to purchase online, small retailers may financially destroyed. However, there are number of solutions to this predicament. Firstly, government should educate population about the hazards of utilization of internet for purchasing. For example, organizing broadcast about the adversity of online shopping such as hackers and computer viruses which can affect the credibility of online stores. What's more, retailers should start buying home-to-home so that consumers will be able to check the quality and the price of the merchandises. In addition to this, it gives a chance to earn for local shopkeepers. To conclude, online shopping leads people to perform minimal physical work and has a negative effects on local stores. Nevertheless, it can be addressed through educating people about the concerns if might occur in the future and give a chance to small retailers.
It is true that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
purchasing has becoming
increasingly
popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to opt for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
instead
of going to markets. This essay below will suggest that the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
caused by this phenomenon and then present certain, plausible solutions to alleviate the same troubles.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with the usage of internet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. The
first
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
tend to
The verb after “to” should be in the base form: “lead”.
leads
a sedentary lifestyle.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to utilize delivery services
instead
of going to the stores in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
fresh products which leads them a healthy lifestyle. As a consequence, they may
The modal verb ‘may’ requires the verb’s base form.
suffered
from both physical and mental health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as diabetes and obesity. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that, buying merchandises through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has detrimental
Possible spelling mistake found.
influense
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shop owners.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
retailers may
financially
The modal verb ‘may’ requires the verb’s base form.
destroyed
.

However
, there are
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “a number of”?
number of
solutions to this predicament.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should educate population about the hazards of utilization of internet for purchasing.
For example
, organizing broadcast about the adversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
such as hackers and computer viruses which can affect the credibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores. What's more, retailers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
buying home-to-home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that consumers will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the quality and the price of the merchandises.
In addition
to this, it gives a chance to earn for local shopkeepers.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to perform minimal physical work and has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on local stores.
Nevertheless
, it can
be addressed
through educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the concerns if might occur in the future and give a chance to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
retailers.
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IELTS essay It is true that, online purchasing has becoming increasingly popular among people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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