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It is suggest that everyone wants a TV , a car or a fridge

It is suggest that everyone wants a TV, a car or a fridge PkdOE
In today’s era, technology has gone through an evolution phase and hence has changed our living style significantly. Many people hold a strong belief that everyone wants to have a car, a television and a refrigerator. This development has undoubtedly made life more favorable and enjoyable but It’s drawback should not be overlooked. On the one hand, it’s can’t be denied that all 3 features lead to a more sedentary lifestyle of humans. In addition, abusing car and television will pretermit chance for exercise such as walking or go outside. Likewise, similar to every device, the amount of energy usage for aforementioned items is tremendous which cause variety problems to the environment including water disposal and air pollution. On the other hand, although the terrible drawbacks may be, its advantages of this development far outweigh any risks. First and foremost, the personal mobility improved permanently with car. For instance, moving around the city was no longer a trouble while having a car. Additionally, range of amusement, news and education channels can easily be brought into our homes though a TV. For example, the Discovery Channel is one of the enormous sources of knowledge about wildlife and science. Having a fridge is a necessary demand in every homes, food can be hoarded safely for a long time. In conclusion, utilizing these consumer products intelligently because the advantages were far outweighing to the drawbacks.
In
today
’s era, technology has gone through an evolution phase and
hence
has
changed
our living style
significantly
.
Many
people
hold a strong belief that everyone wants to have a
car
, a television and a refrigerator. This development has
undoubtedly
made life more favorable and enjoyable
but
It’s drawback should not
be overlooked
.

On the one hand, it’s can’t
be denied
that all 3 features lead to a more sedentary lifestyle of humans.
In addition
, abusing
car
and television will
pretermit
chance for exercise such as walking or go outside.
Likewise
, similar to every device, the amount of energy usage for aforementioned items is tremendous which cause variety problems to the environment including water disposal and air pollution.

On the other hand
, although the terrible drawbacks may be, its advantages of this development far outweigh any
risks
.
First
and foremost, the personal mobility
improved
permanently
with
car
.
For instance
, moving around the city was no longer a trouble while having a
car
.
Additionally
, range of amusement, news and education channels can
easily
be brought
into our homes though a TV.
For example
, the Discovery Channel is one of the enormous sources of knowledge about wildlife and science. Having a fridge is a necessary demand in every
homes
, food can
be hoarded
safely
for a long time.

In conclusion
, utilizing these consumer products
intelligently
because
the advantages were far outweighing to the drawbacks.
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IELTS essay It is suggest that everyone wants a TV, a car or a fridge

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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