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cause effect essay writing

cause effect essay writing K3Jjw
As the development that we face in these century, many people had to go away from their families. Some of these reasons connected to the independence that people want and other related to work. Firstly, people who are over 18 years old usually starting to spend more time away from family to become more independence and confident from themselves. For example, one of my colleague that live alone because he wanted to be more responsible of himself. Another reason, that when he feel upset or some depression he does not want for his parents to see him in such situation. Secondly, many jobs require meetings that had you to went away from your family, to illustrate, many families depend on their own living on one person and he had to go away looking for jobs with better salary. Thirdly, studying abroad make people to spend their time far from their countries. For instance, a lot of majors found only in a specific countries that qualifies you for high positions. On other hand, even though, all of these reasons and the positive result of spending time away from family it had many effects. The most effective result is homesickness which lead people into depression the worst psychological effect. Another result, long distance make you a part away from families emotionally. To illustrate, people missing the first moment of happiness and even sadness that you can not with them and support your family. To conclude, despite all the reasons that keep people away from families. They have to controlled these problem and put the family in the first of our duty. Because a person can not achieve something without supporting family.
As the development that we face in
Did you mean "this century" or "these centuries"?
these century
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
connected to the independence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want and other related to work.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are over 18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
usually
starting to spend more time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to become more independence and confident from themselves.
For example
, one of my colleague that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he wanted to be more
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
himself. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, that when he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "feels", "felt".
feel
upset or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
depression he does not want for his parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
him in such situation.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs require meetings that had you to went
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, to illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
depend on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
living on one
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
person and
he had to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
looking for jobs with better salary.
Thirdly
, studying abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend their time far from their countries.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
majors found
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in a specific
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "country"?
countries
that qualifies you for high positions.

On other hand,
even though
, all of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result of spending time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
it had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effects. The most effective result is homesickness which lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into depression the worst psychological effect. Another result, long distance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you a part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
emotionally
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
missing the
first
moment of happiness and even sadness that you can not with them and support your family.

To conclude
, despite all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. They have
Did you mean "to control"?
to controlled
Did you mean "this problem" or "these problems"?
these problem
and put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in the
first
of our duty.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
a person can not achieve something without supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
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IELTS essay cause effect essay writing

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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