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A. Why more people nowadays travel than the past? B. What benefits do the travellers get from travelling?

A. Why more people nowadays travel than the past? B. What benefits do the travellers get from travelling? peglD
Nowadays, people travel frequently than the previous time. Mainly social and economical factors are reasons for this. In the following paragraphs I will discuss about this in detail. Firstly, people do not get enough time to spend with each other in their daily life. So they plan to go somewhere in their holidays with the families. For example, in summer vacations lots of tourist can be seen in hilly area. On the other hand, in winter many people love to go warmer region. Secondly due to some office work assignments, person require to go from one place to another. Finally, there are some people who fond of exploring new things. So, in order to do this, they travel at different places. There are a lot of advantages of this. As person spend time with their loved ones during travelling, person get relieve from the stress. Because every person require break from the work, so that it can perform its next task efficiently. For example, in schools and colleges, winter and summer vacations are usually given. In addition, during work travel it increases the network of particular person which might be useful in near future. Also, when foreign tourist come so they learn various cultures. To conclude, people need to travel for various reasons such as for family, work and exposure. In all the cases, although mainly this provides happiness and satisfaction, also provides new experiences in life which might be useful at certain phace of the life.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
Use "(frequently)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
frequently
than the previous time.
Mainly
social and
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
factors are reasons for this. In the following paragraphs I will
Did you mean simply "discuss this"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about this
in detail.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to spend with each other in their daily life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they plan to go somewhere in their holidays with the families.
For example
, in summer vacations lots of tourist can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in hilly area.
On the other hand
, in winter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to go warmer region.
Secondly
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
assignments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
require
Did you mean "going"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to go
from one place to another.
Finally
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a fond".
who fond
of exploring new things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in order to do this, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages of this.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
spend time with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones during travelling,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relieve from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
require break from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can perform its
next
task
efficiently
.
For example
, in schools and colleges, winter and summer vacations are
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
In addition
, during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
it increases the network of particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
which might be useful in near future.
Also
, when foreign tourist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they learn various cultures.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for various reasons such as for family,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and exposure. In all the cases, although
mainly
this provides happiness and satisfaction,
also
provides new experiences in life which might be useful at certain
Possible spelling mistake found.
phace
of the life.
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IELTS essay A. Why more people nowadays travel than the past? B. What benefits do the travellers get from travelling?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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