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It is stated that technological advancements make significant contributions to hindering people from doing illegal activities and curbing the percentage of law-breakers. From my perspective, I strongly believe with this statement.

It is stated that technological advancements make significant contributions to hindering people from doing illegal activities and curbing the percentage of law-breakers. From my perspective, I strongly believe with this statement. 0M7B1
It is stated that technological advancements make significant contributions to hindering people from doing illegal activities and curbing the percentage of law-breakers. From my perspective, I strongly believe with this statement. On the one hand, some individuals think that another way to crime reduction is enforcing longer jail sentences instead of using the top-notch technology. In fact, the modern devices can be broken by criminals, hence being wasteful to invest money on them. Because most tend to feel scared about being caged in a limited space in an extended period of time, this zero-tolerance policy results in crime prevention. However, such thinking is only valid to a limited extent. Firstly, a wide-raging of minute cameras’ surveillance are improvised and installed in secret places. Thus, it is difficult to discover the exact location to wreck them. Furthermore, if offenders suffer from confinement in a long time, there will be a surging number of prison escapes. The situation becomes out of control because of increasing counterproductive offenses. On the other hand, I am convinced that the cutting-edge technology acts as a deterrent against breaking the law and helps find wrong-doers. First and foremost, widespread security systems such as surveillance cameras and sensors is contributed to prevent potential criminals. This is because they understand that they are under the close supervision. Therefore, not only do these advancements stop people from committing crimes, but also they can protect society from any threats and provide dwellers with a sense of safety. Furthermore, scientific methods and devices are used successfully in detecting crimes. For example, courts rely on high accuracy tools like fingerprinting and DNA testing in identifying culprits, thereby saving innocent people and arresting the guilty effectively. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that the modern technologies pave the way for crimes prevention and detection with ease.
It
is stated
that technological advancements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
significant contributions to hindering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from doing illegal activities and curbing the percentage of law-breakers. From my perspective, I
strongly
believe with this statement.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that another way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
reduction is enforcing longer jail sentences
instead
of using the top-notch technology. In fact, the modern devices can
be broken
by criminals,
hence
being wasteful to invest money on them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
most tend to feel scared about
being caged
in a limited space in an extended period of time, this zero-tolerance policy results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention.
However
, such thinking is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
valid to a limited extent.
Firstly
, a wide-raging of minute cameras’ surveillance
are improvised
and installed in secret places.
Thus
, it is difficult to discover the exact location to wreck them.
Furthermore
, if offenders suffer from confinement in a long time, there will be a surging number of prison escapes. The situation becomes out of control
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increasing counterproductive offenses.

On the other hand
, I
am convinced
that the cutting-edge technology acts as a deterrent against breaking the law and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
-doers.
First
and foremost, widespread security systems such as surveillance cameras and sensors
is contributed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
potential criminals. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they understand that they are under the close supervision.
Therefore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do these advancements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can protect society from any threats and provide dwellers with a sense of safety.
Furthermore
, scientific methods and devices are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
successfully
in detecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For example
, courts rely on high accuracy tools like fingerprinting and DNA testing in identifying culprits, thereby saving innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and arresting the guilty
effectively
.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that the modern technologies pave the way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
prevention and detection with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
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IELTS essay It is stated that technological advancements make significant contributions to hindering people from doing illegal activities and curbing the percentage of law-breakers. From my perspective, I strongly believe with this statement.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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