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It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion.

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right. O38j
In some advanced countries, it is not unusual for more than 50% of young adults to attend college or university. Critics, however, claim that many university courses are worthless and young people would be better off gaining skills in the workplace. In this essay, I will examine both sides of this argument and try to reach a conclusion. There are several reasons why young people today believe they have the right to a university education. First, growing prosperity in many parts of the world has increased the number of families with money to invest in their children’s future. At the same time, falling birth-rates mean that one- or two-child families have become common, increasing the level of investment in each child. It is hardly surprising, therefore, that young people are willing to let their families support them until the age of 21 or 22. Furthermore, millions of new jobs have been created in knowledge industries, and these jobs are typically open only to university graduates.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advanced countries, it is not unusual for more than 50% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults to attend college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Critics,
however
, claim that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
courses are worthless and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be better off gaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in the workplace. In this essay, I will examine both sides of this argument and try to reach a conclusion.

There are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
believe they have the right to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education.
First
, growing prosperity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world has increased the number of families with money to invest in their children’s future. At the same time, falling birth-rates mean that one- or two-child families have become common, increasing the level of investment in each child. It is hardly surprising,
therefore
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their families support them until the age of 21 or 22.
Furthermore
, millions of new jobs have
been created
in knowledge industries, and these jobs are
typically
open
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates.
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IELTS essay It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
165 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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