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It is said that smoking is on the increase among young people. What are the causes and solutions for this problem?

It is said that smoking is on the increase among young people. What are the causes and solutions for this problem? 1krlG
It is a fact that on the threshold of modern age, a substantial number of youngsters smoking are on the rise which has a plethora of detrimental impacts on the individual and the society as a whole. For our sake, the government needs to figure out some solutions to improve the situation. With a reference to causes, there are many factors that contributed to this rapid climb. Firstly, to be mentioned is the seductive advertising campaign aimed at juveniles. Obviously, youngsters are at the age of curiosity and inquisitiveness that they couldn’t overlook some appealing invitations as a lure. Therefore, they have a go at smoking as a new experience in their life without paying any attention to their lungs being sabotaged. Moreover, in the fast-paced off life, teenagers couldn’t get along with a myriad of pressures from their family and social issues that lead them resorting to addictive substances in order to wind up themselves. It has been studied that nicotine in tobacco can cease tension and make smokers feel relief. Serious attempts should halt the relentless growth in teenagers using cigarettes and must be made immediately. Governments firstly should ban all tobacco or vape advertising in order to reverse this disturbing trend and also must prohibit smoking on TV and in films. Additionally, councils authorities and anti-drugs organisations should open a widely-spreaded campaign about negative effects of smoking for residents notwithstanding ages or sex. If this measure is taken, youngsters are more aware of their health and control themselves in front of anti-social problems wholly. Last but not least, imposing heavy taxes on smoking and cigarette selling is a must-taken action with an aim to stop youngsters becoming addicted to tobacco. To sum up, the toll has not declined in recent successive years but if attempts were made to address the problem, teenagers would no longer indulge themselves in addicted substances
It is a fact that on the threshold of modern age, a substantial number of youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
are on the rise which has a plethora of detrimental impacts on the individual and the society as a whole. For our sake, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to figure out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation.

With a reference to causes, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that contributed to this rapid climb.
Firstly
, to
be mentioned
is the seductive advertising campaign aimed at juveniles.
Obviously
, youngsters are at the age of curiosity and inquisitiveness that they couldn’t overlook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
appealing invitations as a lure.
Therefore
, they have a go at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
as a new experience in their life without paying any attention to their lungs
being sabotaged
.
Moreover
, in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced off life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with a myriad of pressures from their family and social issues that lead them resorting to addictive substances in order to wind up themselves. It has
been studied
that nicotine in tobacco can cease tension and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
smokers feel relief.

Serious attempts should halt the relentless growth in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
using cigarettes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
immediately.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
firstly
should ban all tobacco or vape advertising in order to reverse this disturbing trend and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prohibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
on TV and in films.
Additionally
, councils authorities and anti-drugs
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
should open a
Possible spelling mistake found.
widely-spreaded
campaign about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
for residents notwithstanding ages or sex. If this measure
is taken
, youngsters are more aware of their health and control themselves in front of anti-social problems wholly. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, imposing heavy taxes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and cigarette selling is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
-taken action with an aim to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
youngsters becoming addicted to tobacco.

To sum up, the toll has not declined in recent successive years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if attempts
were made
to address the problem,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
would no longer indulge themselves in addicted substances
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IELTS essay It is said that smoking is on the increase among young people. What are the causes and solutions for this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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