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It is said that it is a good idea to have three or four generation living under one roof.What’s your opinion?

It is said that it is a good idea to have three or four generation living under one roof. What’s your opinion? wmq8d
In modern life, the previous generation and the current generation living together is still a hotly debated issue. For example, three or four generations living under one roof. In my opinion, I disagree with that opinion. To begin with, there are various possible reasons why a multi-generational family is a good idea. In large families, children are not usually lonely. Children who live in this kind of family have more playmates, more people to interact with and this could help them to improve their social skills better. In addition, when different generations live together in the same roof, it is easy to help each other. For example, grandparents can take care of children when their parents are working. However, from my perspective, I believe that the disadvantages of the family with three or four generations as opposed to its advantage. First of all, it will place a financial burden on adults as they need to make a living for a greater number of people. Secondly, there will be a lot of arguments about different tastes in food, movies, and other things which could lead to heated debates. Last but not least, it is immensely arduous to pay attention to the individual members since there are too many people under one roof. As a result, the children probably struggle in dealing with some problems all by themselves. In conclusion, I would argue that living in a traditional family where adults, children, and kinship living together has a lot of
In modern life, the previous generation and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together is
still
a
hotly
debated issue.
For example
, three or four generations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
under one roof. In my opinion, I disagree with that opinion. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are various possible reasons why a multi-generational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
usually
lonely.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have more playmates, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to interact with and this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
better.
In addition
, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together in the same roof, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other.
For example
, grandparents can take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when their parents are working.

However
, from my perspective, I believe that the disadvantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with three or four generations as opposed to its advantage.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it will place a financial burden on adults as they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
for a greater number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Secondly
, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
arguments about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tastes in food, movies, and other things which could lead to heated debates. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it is
immensely
arduous to pay attention to the individual members since there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
under one roof.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
probably
struggle in dealing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems all by themselves.

In conclusion
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
where adults,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and kinship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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IELTS essay It is said that it is a good idea to have three or four generation living under one roof. What’s your opinion?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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