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It is quite right that top sports people should be paid a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The salary of famous sportsman is one of the attractive topics of today's society. The essay agrees that a sport stars should be received a good income for their achievements. Firstly, the young generation will be impacted by sportsmen's success therefore they will choose a health way for future and secondly, the sport club or country's status will be on the top level. It is known, that the every child has a person whose he admires and wants to be like his idol. To expand that, the deserving salary will force youngers to do sport activities. Nowadays, the people in the young age group spend the time sitting at the computer desk therefore physical activities are actual. The Brazil is a prime example, where live famous football sportsman. The children from fovea are inspired by Ronaldo's wealthy life, started to attend sport schools for getting more satisfaction in the life. In addition, paying the good salary, the status of particular sport club's or country is being higher. Keeping the famous stars in the team will lead to be in the top of the list in the World Championship, Olympic Games. If the club or the country's federation don not support the stars with money, the team will lose profit from job. For instance, the audience attends the games not only for watching game, also they want to see their idols. It is known, the ordinary people pay money for tickets. Therefore it is profitable relationship between sport star and employer. To draw the conclusion, there are advantages with health benefits for teenagers and double-sided profit between team. Also, I suggest, that the government should control the level of salary and try not to exceed the certain limit for this share and fund the money to social programs.
The
salary
of
famous
sportsman is one of the attractive topics of
today
's society. The essay
agrees
that a
sport
stars
should
be received
a
good
income for their achievements.
Firstly
, the young generation will
be impacted
by sportsmen's success
therefore
they will choose a health way for future and
secondly
, the
sport
club or country's status will be on the
top level
.

It
is known
, that the every child has a person whose he admires and wants to be like his idol. To expand that, the deserving
salary
will force
youngers
to do
sport
activities. Nowadays, the
people
in the young age group spend the time sitting at the computer desk
therefore
physical activities are actual. The Brazil is a prime example, where
live
famous
football sportsman. The children from
fovea
are inspired
by Ronaldo's wealthy life,
started
to attend
sport
schools for getting more satisfaction in the life.

In addition
, paying the
good
salary
, the status of particular
sport
club's or country is being higher. Keeping the
famous
stars
in the team will lead to be in the top of the list in the World Championship, Olympic Games. If the club or the country's federation
don not
support the
stars
with money, the team will lose profit from job.
For instance
, the audience attends the games not
only
for watching game,
also
they want to
see
their idols. It
is known
, the ordinary
people
pay money for tickets.
Therefore
it is profitable relationship between
sport
star and employer.

To draw the conclusion, there are advantages with health benefits for
teenagers
and double-sided profit between team.
Also
, I suggest, that the
government
should control the level of
salary
and try not to exceed the certain limit for this share and fund the money to social programs.
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IELTS essay It is quite right that top sports people should be paid a lot of money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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