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It is predicted that in coming years the number of elderly will be more as compared to the young do they advantages outweigh disadvantages.

It is predicted that in coming years the number of elderly will be more as compared to the young do they advantages outweigh disadvantages. 0pOXG
It is assumed by the great deal of individuals that there will be a plethora of senior citizens as compared to young generation in future. This trend will have more demerit instead of having merits. To commence with, there are multifarious reasons why there a plethora of problems would be rise if elder people are grown more than young generation. First and foremost is that one would feel burden when they will have to provide take care of their elders. in other words, senior citizens are not able to fulfill their basic needs therefore they have to be dependent on their children while children will have to take responsibility for looking towards them abundance time would not be got by them in order to focus on their career. Following this, increaseing in older generation will put extra burden not only on common people but government also will face the majority of problems. The large amount of money will be spent to arrange medical facilities as well as for providing penciences to them. Add to another points, work force also would decrease if younger will be less as compared to senior citizens. Getting less services also would be one demerits among these owing to the fact that while senior citizens will not be able to do work efficiently better facilities will not be received by citizens. Moreover, One cannot happily in their life. Apart from that, economy of the nation also will be fall down and due to it poverty also will enhance. On the flip side, despite having these cons of increasing in elderly population there are some benefits which can be taken. To explain it, cultural and rituals can be preserved with the help of older generation which are being forgotten by new generation. Lastly, less crime also would be committed due to the fact that older people do not have abundance energy to do robbery and they also have lots of patience therefore they do not try to take harm to others at all small things. To conclude, it can be stated that, although it would be helpful to mitigate the problem of crimes yet there are numerous problems which would create if older generation would be more. For example. Extra burden on government, get affected the economy of the nation.
It
is assumed
by the great deal of individuals that there will be a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
as compared to young generation
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. This trend will have more demerit
instead
of having merits.

To commence with, there are multifarious reasons why there a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
would be rise if elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are grown
more than young generation.
First
and foremost is that one would feel burden when they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide take care of their elders.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
other words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
are not able to fulfill their basic needs
therefore
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be dependent on their children while children will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take responsibility for looking towards them abundance time would not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
by them in order to focus on their career. Following this,
Possible spelling mistake found.
increaseing
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation will put extra burden not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
will face the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The large amount of money will
be spent
to arrange medical facilities
as well
as for providing
Possible spelling mistake found.
penciences
to them.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Add
to another points, work force
also
would decrease if younger will be less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. Getting
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun services is countable.
less
services
also
would be
Don't use the number 'one' with plural words. Did you mean "one demerit", "a demerit", or simply "demerits"?
one demerits
among these owing to the fact that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
will not be able to do work
efficiently
better facilities will not
be received
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
Moreover
, One cannot
happily
in their life. Apart from that, economy of the nation
also
will be fall down and due to
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it poverty
also
will enhance.

On the flip side, despite having these cons of increasing in elderly population there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits which can
be taken
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, cultural and rituals can
be preserved
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation which are
being forgotten
by new generation.
Lastly
, less crime
also
would
be committed
due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have abundance energy to do
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
robbery and
they
also
have lots of patience
therefore
they do not try to take harm to others at all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
things.

To conclude
, it can
be stated
that, although it would be helpful to mitigate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of crimes
yet
there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which would create if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation would be more.
For example
. Extra burden on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the economy of the nation.
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IELTS essay It is predicted that in coming years the number of elderly will be more as compared to the young do they advantages outweigh disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
383 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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