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Some people think that Olympic Games are an exciting event and can promote the communication between different countries, while other think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that Olympic Games are an exciting event and can promote the communication between different countries, while other think it is a waste of money. GlYnQ
Currently, people hold different views about whether it is necessary to organize World’s sport event in then world or not. A number of people believe that Olympic Games are regarded as a bridge to the world, while others argue that it is quite money-wasting. From my perspective, I am sure that holding those sport events are benefit a lot. Advocates of the sport games assert that it promotes the cultural communication and interaction between different countries. When foreign athletes come to one country to take part in a match, they would learn about this country’s history and tradition. And the bond between countries has become strength. In addition, a major sporting event like the Olympic Games can attract thousands of people for the duration of the time with the flooding of the foreigners, which means there are likely to have more travelers and visitors. The economy and tourism industry would be boosted productively. Finally, as for the public, when they watch a match especially watch the live match, they are more likely to be more energetic and vigorous. Opponents, however, argue that the game with a large number of people and a range of facilities lay a heavy financial burden on the government. For example, when holding Olympic Games, the country has duty to prepare enough homes and food for athletes. In addition, the country is allowed to make for nearly 300 medals which is a particular large expense. In conclusion, even though holding an international competition like Olympic Games is quite energy-wasting and money-wasting. I am sure that it is still necessary.
Currently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether it is necessary to organize World’s sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in then world or not. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
are regarded
as a bridge to the world, while others argue that it is quite money-wasting. From my perspective, I am sure that holding those sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are benefit a lot.

Advocates of the sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
assert that it promotes the cultural communication and interaction between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. When foreign athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in a match, they would learn about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
history and tradition. And the bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has become strength.
In addition
, a major sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
like the Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
can attract thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the duration of the time with the flooding of the foreigners, which means there are likely to have more travelers and visitors. The economy and tourism industry would
be boosted
productively
.
Finally
, as for the public, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a match
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
match, they are more likely to be more energetic and vigorous.

Opponents,
however
, argue that the game with
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and a range of facilities lay a heavy financial burden on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
For example
, when holding Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has duty to prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
homes and food for athletes.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
for
nearly
300 medals which is a particular large expense.

In conclusion
,
even though
holding an international competition like Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
is quite energy-wasting and money-wasting. I am sure that it is
still
necessary.
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IELTS essay Some people think that Olympic Games are an exciting event and can promote the communication between different countries, while other think it is a waste of money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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