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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime is a direct influence of the increase in violence in media. To what extent do you agree with the above statement?

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime is a direct influence of the increase in violence in media. bWNg
It is generally thought that increment in the crime committed by the youngsters is due to the factor that there has been rise in violence shown in media. I completely agree that brutality projected by television has a direct impact on young people's mind and lead to increase in crime rate. This essay will discuss the role of media in enhancing violence in teenagers’ life such as broadcasting violent tv shows and avoiding self-censorship. In today' s world, media is not only the source of obtaining news but used as entertainment as well. The TV shows and movies aired on the television and other online platforms glorifies violence and present terrorist and gangster as hero which influence the thinking of children below 18 years and sows the seed of violence in them. Moreover, News channels to enhance their ratings focus on the half-truth and favour violations made by the criminals and how they are not get caught. This is illustrated by the recent TV show telecasted in India 'Mirzapur' which displays killing of people as a normal act and criminal get away with it easily. Furthermore, there is no censorship of violent videos and sensitive content on online sites. One can easily access the videos of mass killing or bloodshed by the terrorist. As a result, youngsters got psychologically affected by this and can choose wrong path. For instance, Terrorist groups such as ISI often targets young minds and made them aggressive to utilise their potential in wrong way. To conclude, Media plays a vital role in shaping youngsters’ life and if they tend to focus and glorify assault there will be more juvenile criminals in the society.
It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that increment in the crime committed by the youngsters is due to the factor that there has been rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
shown in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that brutality projected by television has a direct impact on young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind and lead to increase in crime rate. This essay will discuss the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’ life such as broadcasting violent
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and avoiding self-censorship.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
' s world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the source of obtaining news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as entertainment
as well
. The TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and movies aired on the television and other online platforms glorifies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and present terrorist and gangster as hero which influence the thinking of children below 18 years and sows the seed of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in them.
Moreover
, News channels to enhance their ratings focus on the half-truth and
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
violations made by the criminals and how they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught. This
is illustrated
by the recent TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
in India '
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mirzapur
' which displays killing of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as a normal act and criminal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away with it
easily
.

Furthermore
, there is no censorship of violent videos and sensitive content on online sites. One can
easily
access the videos of mass killing or bloodshed by the terrorist.
As a result
, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
psychologically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this and can choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path.
For instance
, Terrorist groups such as ISI
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
targets young minds and made them aggressive to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their potential in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
plays a vital role in shaping youngsters’ life and if they tend to focus and glorify assault there will be more juvenile criminals in the society.

IELTS essay It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime is a direct influence of the increase in violence in media.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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