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It is often said that retirement is the happiest time of a person’s life. How far do you agree with this view? v.2

It is often said that retirement is the happiest time of a person’s life. How far do you agree with this view? v. 2
By augmentation of communities, the number of senior citizen increases. One of the related subjects to them is retirement, which is a polemical one. Some might describe this part of life as the best and pastime time of every person, While some to what extent disagree with that. I concur to a certain point with this issue, discussing in the continue. On the one hand, those who are proponents of this topic declare some reasons. To begin with, almost after retiring there is no need to work, causing one does not have any responsibility, having previously. On top of that Other People do not expect of person to do work, thus the pressure on their shoulder dwindles. Moreover, one can just make more time with their spouse and family. Therefore, it seems this era is a sort of leisure time for every person. On the other hand, there are some matters razing this time, and wreaking havoc on the older people. First and the foremost, the gravest problem that retirees confront relates to pecuniary subject. Paucity of money brings about sorts of problem from unable to go by their life to not able afford the various expenditures such as hospital, if needed, recreations, etc. Moreover, by growing older, almost most of the people come down with miscellaneous maladies, slumping their youthful ability to get around. Then, these problems engender they deprive from taking themselves avail of this era, not relishing and savoring as much as expected. To recapitulate briefly, it seems the duration of the retirement is the most joyful time of a person’s life due to such issues as lack of responsibility to work as well as having multitude of time to spend with family. Notwithstanding, there are some subjects that make this period bitter, namely meager of money and loosing physical and mental abilities.
By augmentation of communities, the number of senior citizen increases. One of the related subjects to them is retirement, which is a polemical one.
Some
might
describe
this part of life as the best and pastime
time
of every person, While
some
to what extent disagree with that. I concur to a certain point with this issue, discussing in
the continue
.

On the one hand, those who are proponents of this topic declare
some
reasons. To
begin
with, almost after retiring there is no need to work, causing one does not have any responsibility, having previously.
On top of that
Other
People
do not
expect
of person to do work,
thus
the pressure on their shoulder dwindles.
Moreover
, one can
just
make
more
time
with their spouse and family.
Therefore
, it seems this era is a sort of leisure
time
for every person.

On the other hand
, there are
some
matters razing this
time
, and wreaking havoc on the older
people
.
First
and the foremost, the gravest problem that retirees confront relates to pecuniary subject. Paucity of money brings about sorts of problem from unable to go by their life to not able afford the various expenditures such as hospital, if needed, recreations, etc.
Moreover
, by growing older, almost most of the
people
come
down with miscellaneous maladies, slumping their youthful ability to
get
around. Then, these problems engender they
deprive from
taking themselves avail of this era, not relishing and savoring as much as
expected
.

To recapitulate
briefly
, it seems the duration of the retirement is the most joyful
time
of a person’s life due to such issues as lack of responsibility to work
as well
as having multitude of
time
to spend with family. Notwithstanding, there are
some
subjects that
make
this period bitter,
namely
meager of money and loosing physical and mental abilities.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay It is often said that retirement is the happiest time of a person’s life. How far do you agree with this view? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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