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It is often said that crime is one of the main things that make the quality of life poorer. Crime in developed countries is one of the biggest problems in society. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to reduce it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is often said that crime is one of the main things that make the quality of life poorer. Crime in developed countries is one of the biggest problems in society. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to reduce it? 51oQ
It is irrefutable that due to excessive crime rate, the quality of people's life is affected badly and they are unable to live their lives in an effective way which is the prominent challenge for society even in well developed nations. There is a plethora of reasons behind this detrimental issue which I am going to elaborate in forthcoming paragraphs along with some solution to alleviate it. The first and foremost significant reason is parent's improper work-life balance as today's fast paced life in order to fulfil their desires both parents are working and they have hectic schedule. As a result, they do not have a whale of time which they should spend with their children. Owing to this, adolescenes have no one with whom they can share their happiness and sadness and they start to feel lonely which they overcome by doing unusal activities such as taking drugs and when they become addicted and they have no source of money, they become cirminals. Moreover, accompany with wrong people, usage of un necessary internet and employment are another major reason which can not be neglected. As every dark cloud has sliver lining, this problem can also be addressed by putting some essential steps such as parents should spend some quality time with their wards so that they can come in comfort zone to share each and every experience with them. Moreover, they should keep eyes on their activities they perform like how long they use internet and for what purpose. Furthermore, government should open employment, so people can get their desired job which help them to fulfil their needs. In conclusion, although crime rate is increasing, but it can be controlled by putting combined efforts of both individuals as well as government otherwise it would be a huge loss in the long run.
It is irrefutable that due to excessive crime rate, the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
badly and
they are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Consider replacing "in an effective way" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective way
which is the prominent challenge for society even in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
nations. There is a plethora of reasons behind this detrimental issue which I am going to elaborate in forthcoming paragraphs along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution to alleviate it.

The
first
and foremost significant reason is parent's improper work-life balance as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced life in order to fulfil their desires both parents are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
they have hectic schedule.
As a result
, they do not have a whale of time which they should spend with their children. Owing to this,
Possible spelling mistake found.
adolescenes
have no one with whom they can share their happiness and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sadness and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to feel lonely which they overcome by doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
unusal
activities such as taking drugs and when they become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
addicted and
they have no source of money, they become
Possible spelling mistake found.
cirminals
.
Moreover
,
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompany by".
accompany with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, usage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
necessary internet and employment are another major reason which can not
be neglected
.

As every dark cloud has sliver lining, this problem can
also
be addressed
by putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential steps such as parents should spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality time with their wards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in comfort zone to share each and every experience with them.
Moreover
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
eyes on their activities they perform like how long they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet and for what purpose.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should open employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their desired job which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to fulfil their needs.

In conclusion
, although crime rate is increasing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
be controlled
by putting combined efforts of both individuals
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
otherwise
it would be a huge loss in the long run.
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IELTS essay It is often said that crime is one of the main things that make the quality of life poorer. Crime in developed countries is one of the biggest problems in society. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to reduce it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • It is often said that crime is one of the main things that make the quality of life poorer. Crime in developed countries is one of the biggest problems in society. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to reduce it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.