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It is often argued that ambition

It is often argued that ambition DlE57
It is often argued that ambition is an essential attribute that one must to achieve success. In my opinion, it is an important personality trait that people need to accomplish their goals. However the person who wants to gain success should control his/ her own ambition. Nowadays and past times, ambitious characters have accomplished their aims in private life and career unless they have not crossed the line from ambitious to dissembler. If the ambitious persons are not poisoned by their desired. The other people can rely on easily and stay with him/ her to challenge many situation together. We can see many examples in history. Especially commanders who have achieved historical success can be given as an instance. Even today when people mention about them they use many adjectives and ''ambitious'' is in that group of adjectives firstly. On the other hand, in these days, there is no war in physically but financial war goes on on almost whole countries. for this reason many people living in critical economic situation. so they do not want to lose their jobs. however this pessimistic climate effect many people negative hence they act like the person who are not. mostly in business life people try to look like an ambitious person but while they are doing this. they create a manipulated world in their business life. And result there is comprised of unhappy persons working environment. In my opinion its a major negative effect of being an ambitious. in conclusion, i believe that a person should be ambitious but this personal characteristic needs to use properly and for common benefits
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that ambition is an essential attribute that one
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
achieve success. In my opinion, it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
personality trait that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to accomplish their goals.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who wants to gain success should control his/ her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ambition.

Nowadays and past times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitious
characters have accomplished their aims in private life and career unless they have not crossed the line from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitious
to dissembler.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
are not poisoned by their desired. The other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can rely on
easily
and stay with him/ her to challenge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
situation together. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples in history.
Especially
commanders who have achieved historical success can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
as an instance. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean simply "mention them"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mention about them
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adjectives and ''ambitious'' is in that group of adjectives
firstly
.

On the other hand
, in these days, there is no war in
physically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
financial war goes
Possible typo: you repeated a word
on on
almost whole countries.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
this reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in critical economic situation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
they do not want to lose their jobs.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
this pessimistic climate effect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
hence
they act like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who are not.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
mostly
in business life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to look like an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
while they are doing this.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
create a manipulated world in their business life. And result there
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of" or "is composed of"?
is comprised of
unhappy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
working environment. In my opinion
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of being
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
an ambitious
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this personal characteristic needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
properly
and for common benefits
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IELTS essay It is often argued that ambition

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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