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It is necessary to be competitive in order to succeed in life.

It is necessary to be competitive in order to succeed in life. oR1nq
I disagree with the idea that it is necessary to be competitive to succeed in life. Sometimes life offers no alternative to competing, but there are better options most of the time. Competing against someone else usually requires too much energy. Also competition often leads to somebody’s feelings getting hurt. I think cooperation is easier and nicer than competition. First of all, I think that competing is usually a waste of energy. Competition is about feeling superior to someone else, which usually involves spending more energy than other person. Take myself as example, once my frien. . .
I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is necessary to be competitive to succeed in life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
life offers no alternative to competing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are better options most of the time. Competing against someone else
usually
requires too much energy.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
competition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to somebody’s feelings getting hurt. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
cooperation is easier and nicer than competition.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that competing is
usually
a waste of energy. Competition is about feeling superior to someone else, which
usually
involves spending more energy than other person. Take myself as example, once my
Possible spelling mistake found.
frien
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.

IELTS essay It is necessary to be competitive in order to succeed in life.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
98 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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