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It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring their children up. Do you agree or disagree?

It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring their children up. XGVAw
Some people believe that it is mandatory to take a parenting training for guardians to foster their kids. If questioned, I strongly support such a notion because of some reasons. My inclination is justified in the ensuing write-ups. There are several arguments to support my stance. The first and foremost one is that parenting course can be useful for parents to understand their children better. In other words, there is a generation gap between child and parents which creates different thinking processes in both. If guardians take this type of training, children become more predictable for them. For example, there a survey which was conducted by UNICEF in 2019; it revealed that 63% parents had become more close to their kids after attending training course of this organization in the same year. Moreover, parents can learn different techniques to tackle issues of children. To illustrate, nowadays  nobody has time to waste on small problems because of their hectic schedule. During school time, children have many obstacles not only in academics but also in real life; therefore, guardians have to become more careful about their children. This type of courses can help to adopt easy methods to solve it. Nevertheless, some people may differ with this statement. The reason is that parenting course might be expensive and time consuming. To elaborate, sometimes, not everyone can afford this kind of courses; whwreas, some people have to take leaves from their work to attend training. These incidents may affect career and budget of guardians. For instance, in parenting training in Cambridge University in 2016, 43% people were willing to attend this training; however, they did not attend it because of cost of it. In conclusion, although training course is not affordable for everyone, I firmly believe that parenting courses are very beneficial for guardians to understand thinking of children and to solve issues of their kids. I suggest that every parents should try to attend this type of courses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is mandatory to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
for guardians to foster their kids. If questioned, I
strongly
support such a notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. My inclination
is justified
in the ensuing write-ups.

There are several arguments to support my stance. The
first
and foremost one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
can be useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to understand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
better.
In other words
, there is a generation gap between child and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
which creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thinking processes in both. If guardians take this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become more predictable for them.
For example
, there a survey which
was conducted
by UNICEF in 2019; it revealed that 63%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had become more close to their kids after attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
of this organization in the same year.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
techniques to tackle issues of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To illustrate, nowadays
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
nobody has time to waste on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their hectic schedule. During school time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obstacles not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in academics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in real life;
therefore
, guardians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
become more careful about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to adopt easy methods to solve it.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may differ with this statement. The reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
might be expensive and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
. To elaborate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, not everyone can afford this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
whwreas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
from their work to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
. These incidents may affect career and budget of guardians.
For instance
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
in Cambridge University in 2016, 43%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
;
however
, they did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of cost of it.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is not affordable for everyone, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for guardians to understand thinking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and to solve issues of their kids. I suggest that every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "parent"?
parents
should try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
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IELTS essay It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring their children up.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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