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It is more important to have a good family than to have friends. Do you agree or disagree?

It is more important to have a good family than to have friends. xOqVQ
There is a universal controversy about the importance of family and friendship. Many people reckon that family is sufficient for their lives and it is unnecessary to have friends. From my perspective, however, good friends are also significant in our lives and there are a lot of circumstances when family is unable to make up for the drawbacks of having no friends. Although the significance of family is undisputable, the precious values of friendship should not be ignored. Family plays a crucial role in everyone's life since they are reliable ones whom we can turn to for advice when encountering difficulties and obstacles. However, there are plenty of intimate secrets that are impossible to share with parents such as love affairs or financial status, mainly due to a huge generation gap and a fear of making them worried. In these circumstances, sharing with good friends would be preferable thanks to mutual understandings and common notions. Besides, family members are likely to become trustworthy and ideal friends. In fact, children who have siblings might consider their sisters or brothers as wonderful companions. In addition, teenagers who have suffered bullying in schools might isolate themselves from their peers while family is always tolerant of their mistakes and imperfections, making them more confident and pleasant. However, parents are incapable of accompanying their kids on many occasions but only friends could do. For example, youngsters often show a great preference for traveling with a couple of their friends rather than with family. It is understandable since young people are likely to be appealed by extreme sports, adventurous trips, and once-in-a-lifetime challenges, whereas parents who belong to the previous generation do not seem to be enthusiastic about these unconventional experiences. In conclusion, both family and friendship are key drivers to a happy and fulfilled life. It is agreeable that family is an indispensable part of our lives, however, it can not completely replace the existence of good friends.
There is a universal controversy about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friendship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is sufficient for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and it is unnecessary to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. From my perspective,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
also
significant in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
circumstances when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up for the drawbacks of having no friends.

Although the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is undisputable, the precious values of friendship should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
plays a crucial role in everyone's life since they are reliable ones whom we can turn to for advice when encountering difficulties and obstacles.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of intimate secrets that are impossible to share with parents such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
affairs or financial status,
mainly
due to a huge generation gap and a fear of making them worried. In these circumstances, sharing with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
would be preferable thanks to mutual understandings and common notions.

Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are likely to become trustworthy and ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. In fact, children who have siblings might consider their sisters or brothers as wonderful companions.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who have suffered bullying in schools might isolate themselves from their peers while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is always tolerant of their mistakes and imperfections, making them more confident and pleasant.
However
, parents are incapable of accompanying their kids on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
occasions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
could do.
For example
, youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a great preference for traveling with a couple of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
rather
than with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It is understandable since young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are likely to
be appealed
by extreme sports, adventurous trips, and once-in-a-lifetime challenges, whereas parents who belong to the previous generation do not seem to be enthusiastic about these unconventional experiences.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friendship are key drivers to a happy and fulfilled life. It is agreeable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is an indispensable part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
however
, it can not completely replace the existence of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
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IELTS essay It is more important to have a good family than to have friends.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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