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it is irrefutable that traditional cultures and aesthetic values are deteriorating with the evolution of technology

it is irrefutable that traditional cultures and aesthetic values are deteriorating with the evolution of technology 06mwQ
In this contemporary world, it is irrefutable that traditional cultures and aesthetic values are deteriorating with the evolution of technology. I completely agree to the notion and this essay will explicitly illustrate why in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, first and foremost, with the rise in fast-paced lifestyle children are mostly busy with their computers and video games. In other words, gadgets like mobile phones and iPad are the necessity of every child these days and spent most of their quality time with them. For instance, with the advent of online teaching kids are mostly busy in attending the classes, therefore, no room is left for them to play outside with friends and give time to their parents and grandparents. Secondly, parents nowadays in order to meet both ends are doing two to three jobs, as a result they are largely unavailable for their kids. Hence the custom of family dining is finishing day by day. Dining together has been proven to be very beneficial to maintain the relationship among family members. To exemplify, a child learn the basic etiquette and manners by their parents and grandparents teach them the moral values. Finally, with the advancement of new technologies, more and more people are commuting to metropolitan cities in order to get high paying job. Thus, the concept of joint family is perishing, moreover, residents are inclining towards nuclear family. To illustrate, according to recent survey in India, a higher percentage of villagers have been shifted to Delhi, the capital city to get better resources. Hence, leaving behind their ancestral home and moving to unknown cities for better future. To conclude from aforementioned argument I would like to infer that, classic customs are very important as they give identity to mankind and they should be maintained otherwise they will also be extinct like many languages.
In this contemporary world, it is irrefutable that traditional cultures and aesthetic values are deteriorating with the evolution of technology. I completely
agree
to the notion and this essay will
explicitly
illustrate why in the subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with,
first
and foremost, with the rise in
fast
-paced lifestyle children are
mostly
busy with their computers and video games.
In other words
, gadgets like mobile phones and iPad are the necessity of every child these days and spent most of their quality time with them.
For instance
, with the advent of online teaching kids are
mostly
busy in attending the classes,
therefore
, no room is
left
for them to play outside with friends and give time to their parents and grandparents.
Secondly
, parents nowadays in order to
meet
both ends are doing two to three jobs,
as a result
they are
largely
unavailable for their kids.
Hence
the custom of
family
dining is finishing day by day. Dining together has
been proven
to be
very
beneficial to maintain the relationship among
family
members. To exemplify, a child learn the basic etiquette and manners by their parents and grandparents teach them the moral values.

Finally
, with the advancement of new technologies, more and more
people
are commuting to metropolitan cities in order to
get
high paying job.
Thus
, the concept of joint
family
is perishing,
moreover
, residents are inclining towards nuclear
family
. To illustrate, according to recent survey in India, a higher percentage of villagers have
been shifted
to Delhi, the capital city to
get
better resources.
Hence
, leaving behind their ancestral home and moving to unknown cities for better future.

To conclude
from aforementioned argument I would like to infer that, classic customs are
very
important
as they give identity to
mankind and
they should
be maintained
otherwise
they will
also
be extinct like
many
languages.
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IELTS essay it is irrefutable that traditional cultures and aesthetic values are deteriorating with the evolution of technology

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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