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A large proportion of elderly people

A large proportion of elderly people 2rgyw
A large proportion of elderly people look forward to their retirement thinking that it will be the happiest period of their life. However, the reality is different for many of them. The causes of this problem will be discussed in this essay along with the solutions. Multiple factors contribute to this problem. It is widely acknowledged that the pension that retired people receive is lower than their previous salaries; however, the cost of living continues to rise and consequently, people’s life quality decreases after retirement. In addition, numerous retired people are suffering from some psychological diseases. This is mainly due to the fact that they are afflicted with loneliness because their children are occupied with a full time job and can no longer spend enough time with their parents. By contrast, when they were working, they regularly communicated with their colleagues. The joint effort of the governments and the local communities are required to solve this problem. It is imperative for authorities to increase the amount of pension, retired people can get. This will ensure that they have enough money not only to purchase life necessities but also to afford relatively more expensive activities like a vacation or a musical concert. Also, local communities should organize various events where retired people can get together and socialize. This will enable them to be acquainted with other retired people and make friends with them, eradicating their loneliness effectively. In conclusion, the decline in the happiness levels of retired people can be attributed to their small pensions and loneliness. The government can help to solve the problem by launching special welfare schemes for the retirees.
A large proportion of elderly
people
look forward to their retirement thinking that it will be the happiest period of their life.
However
, the reality is
different
for
many
of them. The causes of this
problem
will
be discussed
in this essay along with the solutions.

Multiple factors contribute to this
problem
. It is
widely
acknowledged that the pension that
retired
people
receive is lower than their previous salaries;
however
, the cost of living continues to rise and
consequently
,
people’s
life quality decreases after retirement.
In addition
, numerous
retired
people
are suffering from
some
psychological diseases. This is
mainly
due to the fact that they
are afflicted
with loneliness
because
their children
are occupied
with a full time job and can no longer spend
enough
time with their parents. By contrast, when they were working, they
regularly
communicated with their colleagues.

The joint effort of the
governments
and the local communities
are required
to solve this
problem
. It is imperative for authorities to increase the amount of pension,
retired
people
can
get
. This will ensure that they have
enough
money not
only
to
purchase
life necessities
but
also
to afford
relatively
more expensive activities like a vacation or a musical concert.
Also
, local communities should organize various
events
where
retired
people
can
get
together and socialize. This will enable them to
be acquainted
with other
retired
people
and
make
friends with them, eradicating their loneliness
effectively
.

In conclusion
, the decline in the happiness levels of
retired
people
can
be attributed
to their
small
pensions and loneliness. The
government
can
help
to solve the
problem
by launching special welfare schemes for the retirees.
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IELTS essay A large proportion of elderly people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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