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It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. with this view? OGdG
Increasing the technology in the country which diminishes the traditional cultures. These two cultures namely, tradition and technology are not compatible with each other. I'm not agreeing for this statement becasue growing technology will helps to grow traditional methods easy and comfortable way. Technology increases the growth of the country as well as adapting the surrounding changes. For instance, in India, population rises day by day. So necessity of food usage will also increase. By adapting the current situation of this population upsizing, technology will helps thefarmers to increase the productivity of food as well as other items with less human involvment. For example, in olden days, our tradition was to farm lands with the help of bulls. It will take lot of time to pull the field. But now a days with the help of tactors we can grave the field easily with less efforts and also in minimal time. There was a huge growth in medical industry over the past few years. This happens because of the technological improvement. With the help of this technology, doctors are diagonises diseases easily and curing it easily. For example, in a old traditional culture way to treat the jaundice fever was to burn the skin of the patient. But now a days, doctors are treating the same disease with the help of medicines fastly. Not only the jaundice but also other fever related issues can't able to find in any traditional manner. With the help of the new technology and science, finding the problem and curing it fastly is happening. However, we will take a negative instance because of technological improvement, it is nothing but the innovation of dynamite. Technically it is a bomb which helps to breaks the stones from the hills or else in quarry industry. Usage of this bomb on humans leads to death. so, we needs to use the technology for good purpose. Here i'm concluding that usage of technology for good purpose will be always gives better results compared to the traditional cultures. Using the same technology for negative purpose which leads to worlds disaster
Increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the country which diminishes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. These two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
namely
, tradition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are not compatible with each other. I'
The verb 'agreeing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
m not agreeing
for this statement
Possible spelling mistake found.
becasue
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
methods easy and comfortable way.

Technology increases the growth of the country
as well
as adapting the surrounding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
For instance
, in India, population rises day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
necessity of food usage will
also
increase. By adapting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation of this population upsizing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "help"
helps
Possible spelling mistake found.
thefarmers
to increase the productivity of food
as well
as other items with less human
Possible spelling mistake found.
involvment
.
For example
, in olden days, our tradition was to farm lands with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of bulls. It will take
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
time to pull the field.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tactors
we can grave the field
easily
with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun efforts is countable.
less
efforts and
also
in minimal time.

There was a huge growth in medical industry over the past few years. This happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the technological improvement. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, doctors are
Possible spelling mistake found.
diagonises
diseases
easily
and curing it
easily
.
For example
, in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
way to treat the jaundice fever was to burn the skin of the patient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
, doctors are treating the same disease with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of medicines
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastly
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the jaundice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other fever related issues can't able to find in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
manner. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and science, finding the problem and curing it
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastly
is happening.

However
, we will take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
instance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technological improvement, it is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the innovation of dynamite.
Technically
it is a bomb which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "break".
breaks
the stones from the hills or else in quarry industry. Usage of this bomb on humans leads to death.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, we
The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "need"
needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
purpose.

Here
Did you mean "I'm"?
i'm
concluding that usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
purpose will be always gives better results compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Using the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
purpose which leads to worlds
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
disaster
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IELTS essay It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. with this view?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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