Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It Is Inevitable That As Technology Advances Traditional Cultures Will Be Lost

It Is Inevitable That As Technology Advances Traditional Cultures Will Be Lost KwVP9
An increasingly digital world indeed has advantages as well as certain disadvantages / downsides associated with it. These are widely visible in our culture and traditions. I partly disagree with the statement that technology and culture cannot thrive together. I believe that although some customs and values are lost, technology has helped in making some other traditions stronger. Firstly, technology has ignited the power of traditional values and have made them more prevalent. To illustrate, there is a website in India called Shaadi. com that facilitates traditional Indian way of arranged marriages of eligible couples. Another example is of the Indian tourism websites, which acquaint foreigners with India’s rich culture and diversity to lure them to visit the country. Through these examples, it is safe to say that because of technology, traditional cultures are now far reaching, thriving and have impactful presence. Thus, traditions and technology can succeed in tandem. Consequently, due to a surge in the adoption of technology, some of the traditional values are being lost. One example of it is the plummeting family values amongst youth. They prefer to spend more time online than physically with their families. For instance, in a survey by Times of India, 50% of Indian youth living in urban areas spend more than 6 hours a day online, which means little family and study time. Undoubtedly, family values have been weakened by technology. To conclude, technological advancements come with opportunity cost. It benefits a society by making certain traditions and customs more powerful and prevalent. On the other hand, it takes away some of our old societal values.
An
increasingly
digital world
indeed
has advantages
as well
as certain disadvantages / downsides associated with it. These are
widely
visible in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
. I partly disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
cannot thrive together. I believe that although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
customs and values
are lost
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
stronger.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has ignited the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values and have made them more prevalent. To illustrate, there is a website in India called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shaadi
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
that facilitates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
Indian way of arranged marriages of eligible couples. Another example is of the Indian tourism websites, which acquaint foreigners with India’s rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and diversity to lure them to visit the country. Through these examples, it is safe to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
far reaching
, thriving and have impactful presence.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can succeed in tandem.

Consequently
, due to a surge in the adoption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values are
being lost
. One example of it is the plummeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
values amongst youth. They prefer to spend more time online than
physically
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For instance
, in a survey by Times of India, 50% of Indian youth living in urban areas spend more than 6 hours a day online, which means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and study time.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
values have
been weakened
by technology.

To conclude
, technological advancements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with opportunity cost. It benefits a society by making certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and customs more powerful and prevalent.
On the other hand
, it takes away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
societal values.

IELTS essay It Is Inevitable That As Technology Advances Traditional Cultures Will Be Lost

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • It Is Inevitable That As Technology Advances Traditional Cultures Will Be Lost