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Discuss both views and give you opinion on staying at home or with friends during free time.

Discuss both views and give you opinion on staying at home or with friends during free time. 0AwQ9
Many people have different types of activities in their free time. These activities are mainly based on whether, the person is introvert or extrovert. Based on these personalities, it decides that the person will spend time at home or with their friends. This essay will make focusing on both the views. Nowadays, Due to the virtual world and technology, Numerous people are spending their time at home, playing games or watching movies in their free time. However, These technologies are very essential to the human's lives, but also, it is making person's personality introvert. For example, staying at home with no people, and just interacting with the machines, it will make lose of confidence to talk with others when you have to interact with someone. In addition, in free time, whether the person is staying at home or outside, he/she should be with someone not alone. On the other hand, Many people are like to interact with others and want to socialize more in the world. They mainly spend their time with their friends in free time. Further, they are likely to be with someone even in free time to share moments. However, this personality is not much useful because, always being with someone can make you dependent on others. Moreover, it is better to be with someone with free time, but always can make you dependable. In my opinion, Everyone having their own type of activities in free times wealthier, they stay at home or spend with their friends. But, people should be with someone and make it better free times by spending with them. To sum up, every person having their own mindsets for free times. However, the place doesn't matter, but with whom you spending your free time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of activities in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
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time
. These activities are
mainly
based on whether, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is introvert or extrovert. Based on these personalities, it decides that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home or with their friends. This essay will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
focusing on both the views.

Nowadays, Due to the virtual world and technology, Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home, playing games or watching movies in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, These technologies are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential to the human's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, it is making person's personality introvert.
For example
, staying at home with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
interacting with the machines, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
lose of confidence to talk with others when you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
.
In addition
, in
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free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is staying at home or outside, he/she should be with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
not alone.

On the
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other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are like to interact with others and want to socialize more in the world. They
mainly
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their friends in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Further
, they are likely to be with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
even in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to share moments.
However
, this personality is not much useful
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because
, always being with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you dependent on others.
Moreover
, it is better to be with
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someone
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
always can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you dependable.

In my opinion, Everyone
The pronoun 'Everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
having
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
type of activities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
wealthier, they stay at home or spend with their friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
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people
should be with
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someone
and
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make
it better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
by spending with them.

To sum up, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mindsets for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
However
, the place doesn't matter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with whom
Did you mean "you're spending", "you are spending", or "you were spending"?
you spending
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Discuss both views and give you opinion on staying at home or with friends during free time.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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