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It is important to ensure that children with a

It is important to ensure that children with a gAWog
In the current civilization, school, which is formerly used only to gain knowledge, also can be used to be a meeting place for kids to interact with their friends. That might be the reason why some people think that it is important for the school to ensure children that come from different backgrounds and skills blend with their mates. In my point of view, I really agree with that statement. Therefore, in this essay, I will explain 2 reasons why I support that idea. The first reason is that it can increase children's development, especially in the aspect of soft skill. Creating the environment that suitable for children to make friends from a wide range of backgrounds and abilities can develop their senses regarding communication, tolerance and adaptation. Moreover, it helps them to understand how to behave to other people with different levels and cultures, which might be useful in the future. For example, children that usually have many international friends, apparently do not have a problem to cope with others. Thence, when they are placed by their employers to work in another country, it is not a problem because they know how to deal with their new colleagues. Another reason is gaining new insight from different perspectives. This is the tough one if you never come out from your comfort zone. Based on my knowledge, however, having a wide range of friends can encourage you unconsciously to understand some problems with different views. The truth is that you never learn it at school, you can only get it if you have many different friends. Why did I say that? Because different cultures allow you to see the things that you have never seen it before. It is because the involvement of different cultures and abilities can somehow open your eyes and give you a broad knowledge about particular things. For instance, German people tend to use physical action to solve an issue that might lead them to regret, but in Indonesia, it is better to negotiate first before you decide your further action. Thus, German people, who have been lived in Indonesia, know how to use negotiation to solve any problem without any future regret about their decision using the violence. In a nutshell, some benefits such as developing personal skill and gaining new insight can be useful for kids in the long-term periods. Hence, I agree with the notion of the educational institution should ensure students mix with their mates that have different backgrounds and skills.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
civilization, school, which is
formerly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to gain knowledge,
also
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a meeting place for kids to interact with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. That might be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the school to ensure children that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
blend with their mates. In my point of view, I
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that statement.
Therefore
, in this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why I support that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that it can increase children's development,
especially
in the aspect of soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. Creating the environment that suitable for children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
from a wide range of backgrounds and abilities can develop their senses regarding communication, tolerance and adaptation.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to understand how to behave to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
levels and cultures, which might be useful in the future.
For example
, children that
usually
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
apparently
do not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to cope with others. Thence, when they
are placed
by their employers to work in another country, it is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know how to deal with their new colleagues.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is gaining new insight from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
perspectives. This is the tough one if you never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out from your comfort zone. Based on my knowledge,
however
, having a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can encourage you
unconsciously
to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
views. The truth is that you never learn it at school, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it if you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Why did I say that?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the things that you have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the involvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and abilities can somehow open your eyes and give you a broad knowledge about particular things.
For instance
, German
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
physical action to solve an issue that might lead them to regret,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in Indonesia, it is better to negotiate
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you decide your
further
action.
Thus
, German
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Indonesia, know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
negotiation to solve any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
without any future regret about their decision using the violence.

In a nutshell,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits such as developing personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and gaining new insight can be useful for kids in the long-term periods.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion of the educational institution should ensure students mix with their mates that have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
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IELTS essay It is important to ensure that children with a

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
418 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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