Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Television at Its Worst for Human Life

Television at Its Worst for Human Life mX3KA
One negative effect of TV on kids is laziness. First of all, children are often fascinated by colorful, new things. Television is one of the prime examples of their hobby. Children will become more attracted to watching TV without participating in any outside entertainment games. After coming home from school, children just want to immediately sit in front of the TV screen to watch their favorite programs passionately. This leads to the child becoming passive. Moreover, it's not good for a child's age. Additionally, at the age of a child, they must be encouraged by their parents to go outside and have a part in healthy games and activities for kids rather than just sitting in front of the TV screen all day. Participating in exercise can help them increase fitness, grow more in height, and make them more active. Moreover, they can also make new friends. . . 3. Another problem with TV watching and kids is that children may have difficulty distinguishing between what is real and what is not. To begin with, young children will be separated from the community when their eyes are only on the television, which can contribute to their loss of curiosity in the real world outside and potentially isolate them. What's more, these parents only focus on their work without caring about their children and teaching them. All of that leads them to learn what they see on TV. Together with, because they're too young to know what's real and what's fake, or violent, killing. When there is no parent to manage, children perhaps consciously turn on movie channels, programs, or games that are not suitable for their age. Terrible things will go into their subconscious and make it difficult for them to perceive what is real and what is fake. Therefore, they will learn from these bad things and will probably behave the same way in the real world. There have been many articles about children who are addicted to violent games and after that, stabbing their loved ones. That is extremely dangerous. 4. Finally, television may lead children to gradually become different person, who is no longer adorable, innocent and can do dangerous and unethical actions. At that time, even if their parents regretted it, it would be too late.
One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of TV on kids is laziness.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fascinated by colorful, new things. Television is one of the prime examples of their hobby.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will become more attracted to watching TV without participating in any outside entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. After coming home from school,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to immediately sit in front of the TV screen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their favorite programs
passionately
. This leads to the child becoming passive.
Moreover
, it's not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for a child's age.

Additionally
, at the age of a child, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to go outside and have a part in healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and activities for kids
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting in front of the TV screen all day. Participating in exercise can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them increase fitness, grow more in height, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more active.
Moreover
, they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


3. Another problem with TV watching and kids is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may have difficulty distinguishing between what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
and what is not. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
be separated
from the community when their eyes are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the television, which can contribute to their loss of curiosity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
world outside and
potentially
isolate them. What's more, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on their work without caring about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and teaching them. All of that leads them to learn what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on TV. Together with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they're too young to know what's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
and what's fake, or violent, killing.

When there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to manage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
perhaps
consciously
turn on movie channels, programs, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that are not suitable for their age. Terrible things will go into their subconscious and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult for them to perceive what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
and what is fake.
Therefore
, they will learn from these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things and will
probably
behave the same way in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
world. There have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
articles about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are addicted
to violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and after that, stabbing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
That is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

4.
Finally
, television may lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
gradually
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
person, who is no longer adorable, innocent and can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and unethical actions. At that time, even if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
regretted it, it would be too late.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Television at Its Worst for Human Life

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
380 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts