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Mesums and historical site's are mainly visited by tourist, not by local people.why is this so? What could be done to encourage more local visitors?please include relavant example from your own knowledge and experience.

Mesums and historical site's are mainly visited by tourist, not by local people. why is this so? What could be done to encourage more local visitors? please include relavant example from your own knowledge and experience. 0wE3O
Local habitats are not interested toward mesums and historical site's of their city. there are several reasons behind it. i agree that required steps should be taken to encourage more citizens which i explain in forthcoming paragraph. To begin with, this is happened because residents of the city fed up to see these buildings at regular basis. the habitats visit these places when there museums and historical site's are new. also local people know about the history and famous figures of their country. they have nothing to discover new. in addition, tourist prefer these monuments because they want to know about the culture and heritage of another country of religion. these places are quite excited for these places. also, foreigners gain knowledge and alots of experience from these site's. for example, one collage of Canada gave their learners to make assignment about the habitat and history of Punjab. then the students came to Amritsar and saw medium and golden temple for their assignment notes. On the other hand, the government and local authorities could take several steps to gain local interest in mesums. for example, they can organise cultural events and light snows, competitions about history knowledge and mesums among students. that provide visitors New experience every time they visit these places. In conclusion, if local people do not have interest to visit these places, that is because local authorities and government fail to create interest towards them. authorities should consider various cultural programmes and shows at these places to aware the people about the history of the country or religion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
habitats are not interested toward
Possible spelling mistake found.
mesums
and historical site's of their city.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are several reasons behind it.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that required steps should
be taken
to encourage more citizens which
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in forthcoming paragraph. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, this
is happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
residents of the city fed up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these buildings at regular basis.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
habitats visit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
when there museums and historical
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
site's
are new.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
figures of their country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
have nothing to discover new.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition, tourist prefer these monuments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to know about the culture and heritage of another country of religion.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are quite excited for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
also
, foreigners gain knowledge and
Possible spelling mistake found.
alots
of experience from these
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "sites"?
site's
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, one collage of Canada gave their learners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
assignment about the habitat and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of Punjab.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
the students came to Amritsar and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
medium and golden temple for their assignment notes.
On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authorities could take several steps to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
interest in
Possible spelling mistake found.
mesums
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, they can
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and light snows, competitions about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
knowledge and
Possible spelling mistake found.
mesums
among students.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
provide visitors New experience every time they visit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
In conclusion
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have interest to visit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authorities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
fail to create interest towards them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
authorities
should consider various cultural
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
at these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to aware the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the country or religion.
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IELTS essay Mesums and historical site's are mainly visited by tourist, not by local people. why is this so? What could be done to encourage more local visitors? please include relavant example from your own knowledge and experience.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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