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It is important to be actively involved in your community Do you agree or disagree

It is important to be actively involved in your community E39wx
Communities among where we live, stereotypically reflect a person's identity. Therefore, I certainly believe that it is extremely important for any person to be actively involved in his own community. The basis of my view are based on several reasons. First of all, to be actively involved in one's own community would, inevitably, reflect a good overall image of the people who are involved in the community themselves. For example; I personally is a board member of my neighborhood community, and I admit that being involved in this community with a vast majority of my neighbors have impacted our community in so many positive aspects; we have been able to renovate the community playground, as well as to add so many recreational activities within our community. Thus, whoever visit our community, is always marvelled with the qualities of people who have accomplished such marvelous deeds. Secondly, if everybody thinks of ways to be involved in their community, than they would all work together as a team to surpass distinct difficulties that a community might be confronting. Group efforts would always promote incredible results. For example; due to the high number of people who are contributing in my church community, we had been able to work together and organize a scout for our kids, which we would have been never able to accomplish if we did not think of being involved in the community with all of our supports by fullfilling different tasks and overcoming all the obstacles to instigate the creation of such an amazing scout which would have great effect on our kids. Finally, being involved in one's own community would eventually lead to a better world as a whole. Communities are deemed as a part of a whole world. Building up healthy, cultured and strong communities would ultimately conceive a perfect world. Though, it is tremendously essential to involve ourselves in our communities to ensure the establishment of a better world. In conclusion, I believe that it should be a mandate for everyone to be involved in their communities to promote virtual overwheming identities, to better handle the obstacles in any community, and to create a better world as a whole.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Communities
among where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
stereotypically
reflect a person's identity.
Therefore
, I
certainly
believe that it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for any person to be
actively
involved in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. The basis of my view
are based
on several reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, to be
actively
involved in one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
would,
inevitably
, reflect a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
overall
image of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are involved
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
themselves.
For example
; I
personally
Did you mean "am" or "will be"?
is
a board member of my neighborhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, and I admit that
being involved
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
with a vast majority of my neighbors have impacted our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects; we have been able to renovate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
playground,
as well
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
recreational activities within our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
Thus
, whoever visit our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, is always marvelled with the qualities of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have accomplished such marvelous deeds.

Secondly
, if everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
of ways to
be involved
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, than they would all work together as a team to surpass distinct difficulties that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
might be confronting. Group efforts would always promote incredible results.
For example
; due to the high number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are contributing in my church
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, we had been able to work together and organize a scout for our kids, which we would have been never able to accomplish if we did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
being involved
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
with all of our supports by
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfilling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tasks and overcoming all the obstacles to instigate the creation of such an amazing scout which would have great effect on our kids.

Finally
,
being involved
in one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
would
eventually
lead to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as a whole.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Communities
are deemed
as a part of a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Building up healthy, cultured and strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
would
ultimately
conceive a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
, it is
tremendously
essential to involve ourselves in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
to ensure the establishment of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
world.

In conclusion
, I believe that it should be a mandate for everyone to
be involved
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
to promote virtual
Possible spelling mistake found.
overwheming
identities, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
handle the obstacles in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, and to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as a whole.

IELTS essay It is important to be actively involved in your community

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
363 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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