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It is important that we maintain and protect the beautiful building of the past, even if it is expensive for countries to do so. Do you agree with this statement? v.3

It is important that we maintain and protect the beautiful building of the past, even if it is expensive for countries to do so. v. 3
Maintenance of historic structures is a much-discussed issue among experts, and these should be protected regardless of incurring expenses. I agree with this viewpoint because it not only connects a person to the glorious older architectural era but also benefits to a nation in the form of a tourist destination. To begin with, the old buildings should be maintained and protected even if governments have to spend a hefty amount in this process because such structures connect people to the ancient lifestyle and activities. For example, the government of Punjab state in India has been spending one million Indian Rupees every year since 1947 to maintain the Jalianwala Bagh, in Amristsar, Punjab which provides how our freedom fighters sacrifices their lives. Therefore, if people visit such ancient places, they can get to know about the facts that were unknown to them earlier, and this chain continues. So, preservation and maintenance of these monuments become essential. Moreover, a nation will get benefitted in the form of tourism if valuable ancient buildings are maintained properly. While visiting such places, tourists have to purchase tickets, and this collected money can be utilized in other development purposes by governments. Thereby, the economy of nations increases by maintaining the old structures. To illustrate, to visit the Taj Mahal, overseas visitors must buy an entry ticket before entering the monument premises. Consequently, provincial as well as federal governments are collecting a huge amount by selling the tickets only. Hence, the maintenance of older buildings becomes significant, even it is expensive. To summarize, I believe that the older constructed sites should be prevented and preserved because these link the public to the past. Furthermore, these structures also help to sustain the economy of a nation.
Maintenance of historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
is a much-discussed issue among experts, and these should
be protected
regardless of incurring expenses. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
connects a person to the glorious older architectural era
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
benefits to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
in the form of a tourist destination.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings should
be maintained
and protected even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a hefty amount in this process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
connect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to the ancient lifestyle and activities.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of Punjab state in India has been spending one million Indian Rupees every year since 1947 to maintain the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jalianwala
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bagh
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amristsar
, Punjab which provides how our freedom fighters sacrifices their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Therefore
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit such ancient places, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the facts that were unknown to them earlier, and this chain continues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, preservation and maintenance of these monuments become essential.

Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
in the form of tourism if valuable ancient buildings
are maintained
properly
. While visiting such places, tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
tickets, and this collected money can
be utilized
in other development purposes by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. Thereby, the economy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
increases by maintaining the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
. To illustrate, to visit the Taj Mahal, overseas visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an entry ticket
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering the monument premises.
Consequently
, provincial
as well
as federal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are collecting a huge amount by selling the tickets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Hence
, the maintenance of older buildings becomes significant, even it is expensive.

To summarize
, I believe that the older constructed sites should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
and preserved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these link the public to the past.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to sustain the economy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay It is important that we maintain and protect the beautiful building of the past, even if it is expensive for countries to do so. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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