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It Is Important For Children To Learn The Difference Between Right And Wrong | Band 7 IELTS Essay Sample

It Is Important For Children To Learn The Difference Between Right And Wrong | Band 7 IELTS Essay Sample ldgDQ
Recently, online community is _____ with the news about a facebook group called “parent haters” created by youngsters. This is not the first time adolescents ____It is undeniable that there are more and more teenagers on the internet showing violent or inappropriate thoughts. Moreover, in recent years, the number of young criminals is significantly rising. The main reason for this, I believe, is the education about right and wrong that they have received in their childhood. There has always been a mass controversy over what sort of punishment is appropriate to be used, and whether parents and teachers should use them or not. In my opinion, I agree that adults should use punishment to teach children about the difference between right and wrong. To begin with, some people believe that punishment is cruel and should not be used to teach children. However, without any sort of punishment, children can not know what is right or wrong. These punishments can be a way to warn children about what they might face if they break the rules and do unallowed things. For example, if kids steal food from their parents and are disciplined, they would know that it is wrong to steal anything from other people. Nevertheless, sorts of punishment must be considered carefully, because some of them are violent and badly effective on children. From my perspective, TV time restriction, detention and extra housework tasks should be taken to punish children when they do wrong things. These sorts of punishment can teach them a lesson about committing wrong things and being punished, and can also help them have more time to think about what they have done. In conclusion, moderate punishment is necessary in the personality development of every child. By telling children what is right or wrong and punishing them every time they get up to something, adults can help develop children’s awareness about what they should and should not do in life.
Recently, online community is _____ with the news about a
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
group called “parent haters” created by youngsters. This is not the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
adolescents ____It is undeniable that there are more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
on the internet showing violent or inappropriate thoughts.
Moreover
, in recent years, the number of young criminals is
significantly
rising. The main reason for this, I believe, is the education about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
that they have received in their childhood. There has always been a mass controversy over what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sort
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is appropriate to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, and whether parents and teachers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them or not. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that adults should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is cruel and should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sort
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can not know what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
can be a way to warn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about what they might face if they break the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and do
Possible spelling mistake found.
unallowed
things.
For example
, if kids steal food from their parents and
are disciplined
, they would know that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
to steal anything from other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sorts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
carefully
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are violent and
badly
effective on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. From my perspective, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
restriction, detention and extra housework tasks should
be taken
to punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
things. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sorts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
can teach them a lesson about committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
things and
being punished
, and can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what they have done.

In conclusion
, moderate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is necessary in the personality development of every child. By telling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
and punishing them every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up to something, adults can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
awareness about what they should and should not do in life.
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IELTS essay It Is Important For Children To Learn The Difference Between Right And Wrong | Band 7 IELTS Essay Sample

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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