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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at early age.

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at early age. JRr6
Is essential for children, to know what is the god and wrong on their age, and is punishment help for bringing up children? What kind of punishment parents and teachers can use for upbringing? I give my point of view, and provide a aspects, where I agree and disagree. Well, I agree with punishment, when it is necessary, for example: many children, obviously teenagers waste of time with their telephone too much, and parents should give a caution, that he spent time for phone a lot, and do not think about their study. And if child reacted to this caution, it will be good, otherwise if child do not reacted and carry on waste of the time by their telephone, parents must take a punishment, such as pick up the phone or not allow to walk with friends. These were the statements, which i agree, but we have statements, which I am not agree, for instance: control everything and give a punishment for everything what he did wrong, such as manage they social medias each day or checking what they do, follow them. If parents do this aspects, I consider that it affect on they psycho, and it would be worse, children try to hide themselves and become in close person. Moreover, I assume that parents and also teaches are allowed to use to teach good behavior only give a caution, otherwise to take action. In conclusion, I think that parents must bring up their children more wisely, and do not go over border.
Is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, to know what is the god and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
on their age, and is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for bringing up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
? What kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for upbringing?

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
my point of view, and provide
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a aspect" or simply "aspects"?
a aspects
, where I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
and disagree.

Well, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, when it is necessary,
for example
:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
waste of time with their telephone too much, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a caution, that he spent time for phone a lot, and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their study. And if child reacted to this caution, it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
otherwise
if child do not reacted and carry on waste of the time by their telephone,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, such as pick up the phone or not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Did you mean "walking"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to walk
with friends. These were the statements, which
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we have statements, which I am not
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
,
for instance
: control everything and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for everything what he did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, such as manage they social medias each day or checking what they do, follow them. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do
Did you mean "these"?
this
aspects, I consider that it
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on they psycho, and it would be worse,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
themselves and become in close person.
Moreover
, I assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
also
teaches are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behavior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a caution,
otherwise
to take action.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
bring up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more
wisely
, and do not go over border.
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IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at early age.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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