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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents an v.38

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents an v. 38
Nowadays, many elders have to live alone because their children have to work or have their own family. It is undeniable that many older people suffer from loneliness and lack of activity that could help them to be healthier. From my point of view, there are many reasons for this problem. But this problem also has many sensible solutions, described in the following paragraph. First, the main reason of this problem is the lifestyle of the younger generation. They don't want to live in a big family and they are more likely want to spend their time with friends or their own family. Although, some people still live with their elder parents. But they still don't have time for them because they have to work a ton. On the contrary, the elder mostly quit their job and stay at home. Thus, they have many times to spend in a day. Therefore, they feel lonely. Loneliness is not just brings the disadvantages to the mental health, But its effect to the physical health too. When the older people feel lonely, they feel priceless and don't want to do anything. These feelings and activity lead to the depression and some other disease. In Addition, there are many creative solutions to solve this problem. The easiest way from my perspective is petting some dog or cat. Thereby they will have activity to do. For example, walking with their dogs and playing with their cat. These activity will help them from feel lonely and lead them want to do something good for their health. To conclude, many elders suffer from the loneliness that not just effect to their mental health but also effect to their physical health. The significant reason of this problem is they need someone to talk and do a little activity with them. The best solution from my recommendation is petting a dog or a cat. They will help the elder from loneliness and lack of physical activity. Though, it's just a pity thing. But, they will not feel lonely.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work or have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family. It is undeniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loneliness
and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be healthier. From my point of view, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sensible solutions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in the following paragraph.

First
, the main reason of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the lifestyle of the younger generation. They don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they are more likely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to spend their time with friends or their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they
still
don't have time for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work a ton.
On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
mostly
quit their job and stay at home.
Thus
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times to spend in a day.
Therefore
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lonely
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Loneliness
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
brings the disadvantages to the mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
its effect to the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
too. When the older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lonely
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
priceless and don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do anything. These feelings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
lead to the depression and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other disease.

In Addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
creative solutions to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. The easiest way from my perspective is petting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dog or cat. Thereby they will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
to do.
For example
, walking with their dogs and playing with their cat. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lonely
and lead them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their health.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
suffer from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loneliness
that not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
to their mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
effect to their physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The significant reason of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is they need someone to talk and do a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
with them. The best solution from my recommendation is petting a dog or a cat. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loneliness
and lack of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a pity thing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, they will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lonely
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents an v. 38

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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