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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money . How might having a lot of money make people happy ? What other things in life can make people happy

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy awQ6P
t is believed that the majority way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. In my opinion, I think the reason (Which is make money to people) is that money has the ability to improve the quality of life and how health and relationships can also make people happy. Money plays an important role in an individual's life. People who have has a lot of money can improve the quality of life because and they can afford better lives than the poor. The rich spend money on their food, health, trips, …. . etc and to enjoy everything they want. The people who have has a lot of money will not suffer from lack of essentials. water or When they need want to buy something, but they always can afford it. their budget does not have enough money to buy such as the poor. For example: According to the HCM 1904 analysis about budget questionnaires, More than 91% of the rich people poor are satisfied with their livesfe and happy with everything they have. Relationships and health could make people happy in life. Firstly, an individual who has having a good relationship with everyone can could help everybodyeach other person be more happy and optimistic. The majority of people who have has a good relationships with everyone havehas a good spiritual liveslife. This is because people can assist each other when one is in a difficult situation hence creating faith in life. The relationships which are also the mood in the family help them pass every hard condition. For example: 85% of the poor who do not have much money still feel satisfied with the life they own simply because they prioritize social rsrelationship, according to a study of Hanoi university. Most of The people who have good health are also the happiest in the world. according to a study of Hanoi university. In old age, since most people have a weakness that they could not go or travel anywhere and do not suffer from diseases or, depression. If they have good health, they can do everything they like, even in their old age such as traveling, playing sports or eating some food that they like.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
t
is believed
that the majority way to be
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happy
in
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life
is to have
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a lot of
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money
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the reason (Which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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money
to
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people)
is that
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money
has the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
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life
and how
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health
and
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relationships
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happy.

Money plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in an individual's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
because and
they can afford better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. The rich spend
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money
on their food,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, trips, ….
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
etc
and to enjoy everything they want. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will not suffer from lack of essentials.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
water
or When they need want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they always can afford it. their budget does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
For example
: According to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
HCM
1904
In English, people don't say 'analysis about'. They say, 'analysis of'. Did you mean "analysis of"?
analysis about
budget questionnaires, More than 91% of the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
are satisfied
with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
livesfe
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
with everything they have.

Relationships and
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health
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in
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life
.
Firstly
, an individual
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who
has having a
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good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with everyone can
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible spelling mistake found.
everybodyeach
other person be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and optimistic. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "relationship"?
relationships
with everyone
Possible spelling mistake found.
havehas
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
spiritual
Possible spelling mistake found.
liveslife
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can assist each other when one is in a difficult situation
hence
creating faith in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
which are
also
the mood in the family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them pass every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
condition.
For example
: 85% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
still
feel satisfied with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they prioritize social
Possible spelling mistake found.
rsrelationship
, according to a study of Hanoi university. Most of The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
are
also
the happiest in the world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
according
to a study of Hanoi university. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age, since most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a weakness that they could not go or travel anywhere and do not suffer from diseases or, depression. If they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, they can do everything they like, even in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age such as traveling, playing sports or eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food that they like.
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IELTS essay Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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