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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and e your own opinion

When it comes to skills like music and sports, it is a common concept that only the people born with the certain talents can accel in that field. While many believe that skill and talent is not an inborn trait but can be instilled into a person to make him good in the respective field. It is certainly true that some people are born talented and with minimal training and support they can become very successful. Undoubtedly, some are born musicians and have these skills passed onto them from their ancestors. In the similar fashion, sportsmanship also tends to run in the families. In the sub-continent, the Fateh family is quite famous when it comes to music. They have produced great musicians over the years, their fore-fathers were among the best musicians of their times. This talent has been passed onto the younger generations, who are now one of the most successful and famous musicians of the music industry. On the other hand, it is widely believed that skills like music and athletic talents can be developed in a person with practice and hard-work and is not merely a matter of inborn traits. We have seen many athletes who had come from an anonymous background with minimum opportunities available, but their passion and craze for the particular sports made them to work endlessly until they achieved expertise in that field. A famous Pakistani bowler, Muhammad Aamir belonged to a anonymous town of Paskistan and used to play cricket in the streets of his town but his passion drived him to learn the skill to became one of the best bowlers of the World. In conclusion, it is true that talents do run in the families and some people are born skilled. However, it is not a given that only naturally talented individuals can prosper in the fields like music and sports, but these expertise can be achieved over time with practice and training.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and sports, it is a common concept that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
born with the certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
can accel in that field. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is not an inborn trait
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
be instilled
into a person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in the respective field.

It is
certainly
true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are born
talented and with minimal training and support they can become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful.
Undoubtedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and have these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
passed onto them from their ancestors. In the similar fashion, sportsmanship
also
tends to run in the families. In the sub-continent, the Fateh family is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. They have produced great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
over the years, their fore-fathers were among the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
of their times. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
has
been passed
onto the younger generations, who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
one of the most successful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry.

On the other hand
, it is
widely
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and athletic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
can
be developed
in a person with practice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work and is not
merely
a matter of inborn traits. We have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
athletes who had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from an anonymous background with minimum opportunities available,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their passion and craze for the particular sports made them to work
endlessly
until they achieved expertise in that field. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Pakistani bowler, Muhammad Aamir belonged to a anonymous town of Paskistan and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play cricket in the streets of his town
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his passion drived him to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
to became one of the best bowlers of the World.

In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
do run in the families and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are born
skilled.
However
, it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
naturally
talented individuals can prosper in the fields like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and sports,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these expertise can
be achieved
over time with practice and training.
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IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and e your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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