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It is easier for adults or children to make new friends? Why?

It is easier for adults or children to make new friends? Why? pXYM2
I think kids make new friends more easily than adults. Firstly, they are very young, dreamy, innocent, friendly, approachable. Every day, children often read comic, watch cartoon, play doll or superman toys. Accordingly, children who have simple thoughts like characters in film or comic easily trust and get to know stranger friends. Secondly, children don’t need think too much or doubt the other people. Their environment is quite safe and peaceful. They just mainly in contact with family, school, friends, have not face difficulties in life. They easily open up and believe in what others say. Stranger friends comfortably share, chitchat with cute kids. If they find suitable friends, children will together with and play until they hate them or more mature. Finally, children who completely express feeling to friends, don’t hide their emotion. Kids show all reaction on face: angry, sad, happy, laughing, …. So, all of us consider that children seem like friends not acquaintances.
I
think
kids
make
new
friends
more
easily
than adults.
Firstly
, they are
very
young, dreamy, innocent, friendly, approachable. Every day,
children
often
read comic,
watch
cartoon, play doll or superman toys.
Accordingly
,
children
who have simple thoughts like characters in film or comic
easily
trust and
get
to know stranger
friends
.
Secondly
,
children
don’t need
think
too much or doubt the other
people
. Their environment is quite safe and peaceful. They
just
mainly
in contact with family, school,
friends
, have not
face
difficulties in life. They
easily
open up and believe in what others say. Stranger
friends
comfortably
share, chitchat with cute kids. If they find suitable
friends
,
children
will together with and play until they hate them or more mature.
Finally
,
children
who completely express feeling to
friends
, don’t
hide
their emotion. Kids
show
all reaction on face: angry, sad, happy, laughing, ….
So
, all of us consider that
children
seem like
friends
not acquaintances.
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IELTS essay It is easier for adults or children to make new friends? Why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
157 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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