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It is difficult for the young to concentrate to pay attention

It is difficult for the young to concentrate to pay attention PVM8B
At recent years, being less attentive has become more and more popular at school. It is difficult for the young to concentrate to pay attention, which has become a serious problem in the young' education. Discussed below are several causes as well as solutions of this issue. On the one hand, people should recognize is that there are a number of causes of this issue. A important point to consider is the use of smartphones during the lessons at school. This means that children spend a plenty of their time using smartphones on the lessons and as a result, they are not able to focus the lessons, which their teachers discuss. Take NMD, who is the best student at LQD primary school, as an example, after using smartphones on the lessons, his result of final test is bad. On the other hand, in order to resolve such problem, a number of solutions have been taken. The primary solution is that teachers must ban the use of decives on the lessons. In addition, parents should teach their children about using smartphones in suitable activities. Take LQD primary school, which is one of the most famous shools in Vietnam, as an example, after banning the use of devices on the lessons, the percentage of less attentive children decrease sharply. In sum up, the above mentioned are discussed causes as well as solutions of this issue. People should recognize the causes of this issue and reduce them. People should take a number of situations to make the young' education to be better.
At recent years, being less attentive has become more and more popular at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It is difficult for the young to concentrate to pay attention, which has become a serious problem in the young' education. Discussed below are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
of this issue.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should recognize is that there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of this issue.
Use "An" instead of 'A' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point to consider is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of smartphones during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This means that children spend a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of their time using smartphones on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
and
as a result
, they are not able to focus the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
, which their teachers discuss. Take
Possible spelling mistake found.
NMD
, who is the best student at
Possible spelling mistake found.
LQD
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, as an example, after using smartphones on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
, his result of final
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.

On the other hand
, in order to resolve such problem, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
have
been taken
. The primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is that teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ban the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
decives
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
.
In addition
, parents should teach their children about using smartphones in suitable activities. Take
Possible spelling mistake found.
LQD
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
shools
in Vietnam, as an example, after banning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of devices on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
, the percentage of less attentive children decrease
sharply
.

In sum up, the above mentioned
are discussed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
of this issue.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should recognize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of this issue and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should take a number of situations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the young' education to be better.

IELTS essay It is difficult for the young to concentrate to pay attention

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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