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For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art? 0AMDQ
TS PracticArt is a crucial part of cultural heritage. Therefore, across the globe art forms an important element of cultures. However, nowadays, not many people are interested in arts. Actually, the majority of people lean towards subjects like science, technology and business. The main reason behind this is the money earned after learning these subjects as they offer better job prospects. However, this situation can be tackled if authorities take a few measures in association with the general public. People are losing interest in arts as they do not consider it as a practical subject. In other words, learning art may not help them secure a good job in a multinational company. Many artists struggle to earn their livelihood as compared to those employed in sectors of business and technology. Focusing on subjects other than art is considered as a gateway to success. To illustrate, a recent survey conducted by the Times Magazine has showed that many science graduates get better job offers than art graduates. However, art is the backbone of our culture. Lack of interest in art will eventually lead to the death of rich cultural heritages across the world. The government can help to revive interest of young generations in art. The authorities should allocate budget for developing art field by constructing art schools and maintaining art galleries. Organising cultural events will generate jobs for many and will attract many tourists. Increase in the number of tourists will help generate more revenue. The better financial prospects will act as a boost for people to pursue art as a passion and a career option. In conclusion, subjects such as science, technology and business are lucrative in terms of job prospects, but art too can be a source of livelihood. The combined efforts of the government and the people are needed for the survival of art.
TS
Possible spelling mistake found.
PracticArt
is a crucial part of cultural heritage.
Therefore
, across the globe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
forms an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element of cultures.
However
, nowadays, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Actually, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lean towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like science, technology and business. The main reason behind this is the money earned after learning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as they offer better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
prospects.
However
, this situation can
be tackled
if authorities take a few measures in association with the
Consider using "public".
general public
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are losing interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as they do not consider it as a practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
In other words
, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them secure a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
artists struggle to earn their livelihood as compared to those employed in sectors of business and technology. Focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
other than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is considered
as a gateway to success. To illustrate, a recent survey conducted by the Times Magazine has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
science graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offers than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
graduates.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is the backbone of our culture. Lack of interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
will
eventually
lead to the death of rich cultural heritages across the world. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to revive interest of young generations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. The authorities should allocate budget for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
field by constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
schools and maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organising' is British English.
Organising
cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
will generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and will attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists. Increase in the number of tourists will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
generate more revenue. The better financial prospects will act as a boost for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a passion and a career option.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as science, technology and business are lucrative in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
prospects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
too can be a source of livelihood. The combined efforts of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are needed
for the survival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.

IELTS essay For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?