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It is difficult for people in cities to do physical exercise. Why is this the case? How can we solve this problem?

It is difficult for people in cities to do physical exercise. Why is this the case? How can we solve this problem? G3dr2
It is harmful for people who is live in cities to do physical activity however, there are some ways to solve this problem like: making national parks, gym club and gymnasium. In this essay I will discuss about way of solutions. Firstly, making national parks for those people who would like to do physical exercise a number of people in dawn like to jogging and running it is very safe area to do physical exercise many people have some problems of blood and fat. They are urgency to clear air and normal air condition. My friends his name is Izazullah. He had a problem of fat then he like to jogging in national park of city then finally, he found heal. Secondly, now days people faced short time, people are huge busy. Everyone trying to go to nearly gym and do physical activities thus, gym is beneficial for those who wants work smart and hard. Many people would like to make body farm it could solve the problem. Finally, some people have notion about the gymnasium. A number of People used to playing football and basketball games. They thought it very good for health and best of physical exercise. In conclusion, people are living in cities need to do physical exercise they must go to national park for running, gym and gymnasium.
It is harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in cities to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to solve this problem like: making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
club and gymnasium. In this essay I will
Did you mean simply "discuss way"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about way
of solutions.

Firstly
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who would like to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in dawn like to jogging and running it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
safe area to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems of blood and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
. They are urgency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
air and normal air condition. My friends his name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Izazullah
. He had a problem of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
then he like to jogging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
of city then
finally
, he found heal.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
faced short time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are huge busy. Everyone trying to go to
nearly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is beneficial for those who wants work smart and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
body farm it could solve the problem.

Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have notion about the gymnasium. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to playing football and basketball games. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health and best of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in cities need to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
for running,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
and gymnasium.
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IELTS essay It is difficult for people in cities to do physical exercise. Why is this the case? How can we solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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