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It is considerable that man's career and job

It is considerable that man's career and job lLMMX
Men's destiny depends on career because it is like a backbone in life. If someone who wants to get success in life he must have a job for income and make his life better. in this essay, I will articulate the pros and cons of having a job or not. To begin with, opportunity is the way of a good job but one's knows how to grab it and when because it is essential for any type of career. Secondly, Time is very important part in this process. people must prepare for it and should have work on it. For instance, If a man has a desire to earn a high and good income then he must realise that he has to gone through a process of struggle and this pain teach him a right time and place. In addition with, proper place is very important. On the other hand, having a bad job or choosing a career which is not suit lead us to a various problems. people can fall into a depression and some other mental diseases. How can he support his family without a good income and improve his status. To addition with, sometime we wants to do a small business but we fail. and the worst thing is we lost a good opportunity in life because we have not prepare for it. To conclude that we career is everything in life because having a good career gives a new opportunity to earn a more money. so we have to ready for right place and time because these two things helps us to increase our income.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
's destiny depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is like a backbone in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If someone who wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
better.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this essay, I will articulate the pros and cons of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or not.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, opportunity is the way of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one's knows how to grab it and when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is essential for any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
Secondly
, Time is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in this process.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prepare for it and should have work on it.
For instance
, If a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has a desire to earn a high and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
then he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
gone through a process of struggle and this pain teach him a right time and place.
In addition
with, proper place is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the other hand
, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
which is not suit lead us to a various
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "problem"?
problems
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
can fall into a depression and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other mental diseases. How can he support his family without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his status.
Did you mean "in"?
To
addition with, sometime we
The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "want"
wants
to do a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we fail.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
the worst thing is we lost a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
opportunity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "prepared".
prepare
for it.

To conclude
that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is everything in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
gives a new opportunity to earn a more money.
Use a comma before 'so' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ready for right place and time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these two things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to increase our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
.
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IELTS essay It is considerable that man's career and job

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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