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It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication. de9r
In this century, digital technology seems to be inevitable from our hands anywhere and anytime. There is a famous saying that anything excess is no good at all, in this case, family relationships and communication. I absolutely agree with the previous sentence and I will explain why I agree. First, the invention of smartphones has caused teenagers to spend their free time staring at their phone without taking a break instead of having a chat with other family members which was common prior to the emergence of smartphones. In fact, family time is considered to be very vital for maintaining a healthy family relationship. So, unlimited use of smartphones will gradually increase the gap between teenagers and the other members of the family, which will most likely lead to a toxic family relationship. Second, social media has added insult to injury, in this case family relationships and communication. In fact, sharing of personal videos and photos has become a regular habit these days. Ironically, some people don't think of the consequences of posting their private documentation on their platforms. Hence, regrets in the form of conflict with family members will haunt those who uploaded without figuring out the effects of recklessly posting personal documentation. In conclusion, technology obviously brings us advantage in every aspect of our life, however, anything that is overused will lead to severe damage. Technology will be useful among family members if they are used correctly to the usage limit.
In this century, digital technology seems to be inevitable from our hands anywhere and anytime. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
saying that anything excess is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at all,
in this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships and communication. I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the previous sentence and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.

First
, the invention of smartphones has caused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to spend their free time staring at their phone without taking a break
instead
of having a chat with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
which was common prior to the emergence of smartphones. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
time
is considered
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital for maintaining a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, unlimited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of smartphones will
gradually
increase the gap between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, which will most likely lead to a toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship.

Second, social media has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
insult to injury,
in this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships and communication. In fact, sharing of personal videos and photos has become a regular habit these days.
Ironically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of the consequences of posting their private documentation on their platforms.
Hence
, regrets in the form of conflict with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
will haunt those who uploaded without figuring out the effects of
recklessly
posting personal documentation.

In conclusion
, technology
obviously
brings us advantage in every aspect of our life,
however
, anything that
is overused
will lead to severe damage. Technology will be useful among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
correctly
to the usage limit.
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IELTS essay It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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