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Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. GQJx
It is believed by many companies that proper clothes at the workplace are essential in office working hours, while some organizations assert that quality of work has a significant role rather than attire. I will discuss both arguments with my opinion. I opine that with offices should restrict some types of cloths, and give more importance to the quality of work. Those companies which voice that, office attire is more important give their reasons as follows. To begin with, it shows the unity among staff, provided they were proper clothes at the workplace and it also shows the personality of the staff. After that, they say that with proper regulation in each aspect, they can develop the good reputation of their companies too. Consequently, it brings fame and reorganization to a particular company and organization. Thus, they believe that clothes are important at working place. On the other hand, some believe that companies should focus on the quality and production of work rather than the appearance of individuals. Firstly, they think that results and outputs are more beneficial and advantageous rather than looks of staff. For example, to achieve heights dedication towards work is important than focus on the attire of employees. They also say that if staff focus on clothes it may divert their minds and they may not achieve the desire results in their given task. I agree with the latter view, I believe that, Although it is important to look the good manner in front of client and agencies, quality of work brings more fruit full results for organizations. Also, in the case of attire, it may be controlled and managed by some regulation at the workplace. To conclude, I opine that, even though proper types of clothes are essential, quality of work is more beneficial.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
at the workplace are essential in office working hours, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organizations assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has a significant role
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attire
. I will discuss both arguments with my opinion. I opine that with offices should restrict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloths
, and give more importance to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of work.

Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which voice that, office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attire
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
give their reasons as follows. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the unity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
, provided they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
at the workplace and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the personality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
. After that, they say that with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
regulation in each aspect, they can develop the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
too.
Consequently
, it brings fame and reorganization to a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and organization.

Thus
, they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
at working place.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than the appearance of individuals.
Firstly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that results and outputs are more beneficial and advantageous
rather
than looks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
.
For example
, to achieve heights dedication towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
Use "(important)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
important
than focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attire
of employees. They
also
say that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
it may divert their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
minds and
they may not achieve the desire results in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
task.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view, I believe that, Although it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to look the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manner in front of client and agencies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
brings more fruit full results for organizations.
Also
, in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attire
, it may
be controlled
and managed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regulation at the workplace.

To conclude
, I opine that,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are essential,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is more beneficial.
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IELTS essay Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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