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It is clearly believed that museum admission is more beneficial than not.

It is clearly believed that museum admission is more beneficial than not. Lbpqp
Museums that are labeled as culture, art, history… play a critical role in our society. They are known as the secondary school where we directly learn various information to increase our knowledge. It is clearly believed that museum admission is more beneficial than not. This essay will cover a number of reasons to agree with this opinion. Firstly, income from purchasing tickets contributed to renovating and developing the museum. Most museums were overactive for a long time, which led to downgraded infrastructures. As a result, money from clients dropping by there would be used to improve infrastructures and quality of services. For example, every day the Vietnamese national museum earns approximately $5000 from the crowd who want to visit this well-known place. Therefore, the significant income was used to keep quality up and productively renovate the museum to be one of the most popular historical places in Vietnam. In addition, selling tickets for admission supports the function of the museum more effectively. The main reason is purchasing the ticket helps the staff knows the number of clients to service in the best condition. Each organization has limited human resources consequently apportioning people is a crucial task. For example, the Ho Chi Minh museum limits 100 people coming in once to prevent being out of control consequently their staff could take care of clients. In conclusion, I agree with the view that the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the drawbacks. However, a suitable price is needed consequently that most people can access the museum. On the other hand, gallery should have a reasonable price for their coupon so as to not spoil the fun of visiting the foundation as well as give access to all people of the community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
that
are labeled
as culture, art, history… play a critical role in our society. They
are known
as the secondary school where we
directly
learn various information to increase our knowledge. It is
clearly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
admission is more beneficial than not. This essay will cover a number of reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

Firstly
, income from purchasing tickets contributed to renovating and developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
were overactive for a long time, which led to downgraded infrastructures.
As a result
, money from clients dropping by there would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
infrastructures and quality of services.
For example
, every day the Vietnamese national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
earns approximately $5000 from the crowd who want to visit this well-known place.
Therefore
, the significant income was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
quality up and
productively
renovate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
to be one of the most popular historical places in Vietnam.

In addition
, selling tickets for admission supports the function of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
more
effectively
. The main reason is purchasing the ticket
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the staff knows the number of clients to service in the best condition. Each organization has limited human resources
consequently
apportioning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is a crucial task.
For example
, the Ho Chi Minh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
limits 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming in once to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
being out of control
consequently
their staff could take care of clients.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that the advantages of charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
outweigh the drawbacks.
However
, a suitable price
is needed
consequently
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access the museum.

On the other hand
, gallery should have a reasonable price for their coupon
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
not spoil the fun of visiting the foundation
as well
as give access to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the community.
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IELTS essay It is clearly believed that museum admission is more beneficial than not.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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