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It is clear that human activity has greatly impacted the health of the environment. What is your opinion?

It is clear that human activity has greatly impacted the health of the environment. What is your opinion? 9LwMp
The connection between human behavior and climate change cannot be ignored. A small minority feel that this link is false; however, I am of the mind that science has proven the relationship to be valid. In the following paragraphs, I will provide justification for my standpoint. Firstly, on a broad scale, the correlation between air pollution and climate change has been proven time and again. As a case in point, in a study published by the United Nations just last year, it noted that greenhouse gases have risen by 70% since the era of industrialization began. The enormity of this effect is observed world-wide, and Portland, Oregon, is no exception. Last year, for instance, we received more snow than had been seen in one season in the previous two centuries. There were 10 snow days declared, where all schools and most workplaces were closed. The local population were effectively trapped in their homes, as the city was not equipped to deal with these storms. Moreover, one can see the detrimental effects of individual behavior in immediate circumstances as well. As an illustration, last summer, one high school student threw a firework off a cliff into the Columbia Gorge. This small action resulted in the most massive fire the area had experienced in recorded history. It took over 66 days for firefighters to gain control over the blaze. Unfortunately, it is estimated that the area will not achieve natural balance again for another two decades. In sum, the obvious link between our actions and the decimation of the environment must be recognized as truth. My sincere hope is that humankind will seek to heel the natural wounds it has caused in the immediate future.
The
connection between
human behavior and climate
change
cannot be
ignored
. A
small


minority
feel
that this link is false;
however
, I am of the mind that science has proven the

relationship
to be valid. In the following paragraphs, I will provide justification for
my


standpoint
.

Firstly
, on a broad scale, the correlation between air pollution and climate
change
has been

proven
time and again. As a case in point, in a study published by the United Nations
just


last year, it noted that greenhouse gases have risen by 70% since the era of

industrialization
began. The enormity of this effect
is observed
world-wide, and Portland,

Oregon, is no exception. Last year,
for instance
, we received more snow than had been
seen


in
one season in the previous two centuries. There were 10 snow days declared, where
all


schools
and most workplaces
were closed
. The local population were
effectively
trapped
in


their
homes, as the city was not equipped to deal with these storms.

Moreover
, one can
see
the detrimental effects of individual behavior in immediate

circumstances
as well
. As an illustration, last summer, one high school student threw
a


firework
off a cliff into the Columbia Gorge. This
small
action resulted in the most
massive


fire
the area had experienced in recorded history. It took over 66 days for firefighters
to


gain
control over the blaze. Unfortunately, it
is estimated
that the area will not achieve

natural
balance again for another two decades.

In sum, the obvious link between our actions and the decimation of the environment
must


be
recognized as truth. My sincere hope is that humankind will seek to heel the
natural


wounds
it has caused in the immediate future.
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IELTS essay It is clear that human activity has greatly impacted the health of the environment. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
21 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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